Pedestal: Other Tales
by Digital Skitty
Summary: Unconnected drabbles and oneshots concerning the Pedestal universe and novel. Expect a wide array of genres, themes, pairings, and moods.
1. A Study In Scarlet

**A Study In Scarlet: Ten Truths About The Cast of Pedestal**

-.-.-

_A Study In Charcoal_

-.-.-

**I.** Pedestal actually is _not _the oldest member of the team. Ike is older than he is, and only by a few weeks. Neither of them know this, and neither of them ever will, more likely than not.

**II.** Des usually isn't sure how he feels about his given name of Pedestal. At first, he resented it-but distantly. He's eventually come to terms with his name, and even if he prefers it when he is called Des over Pedestal, sometimes, _sometimes_ when he's done something truly great that makes his trainer happy, he's glad that _he's_ the one up on that pedestal.

**III.** Contrary to his trainer's belief, his favorite human food is not spaghetti. His favorite food is actually burnt carrots. He only ever had it once when his trainer tried to make a stew, and hasn't since.

**IV.** Also contrary to most others' belief about him, Des doesn't dislike any of the members of the team. Even when Zarek annoys him, even when Ike is mean, and even when Konstantin is creepy, he looks at them all as his family.

**V.** Des thought Carlita was pretty as a Shroomish. She hit him when he mentioned it, though, so he hasn't complimented her since.

**VI.** Isabella, on the other hand, was hardly more than an afterthought when he first met her. He wasn't taken with her until she evolved and became _beautiful_ and _stunning_ and yes, even _icy_. He once told her this and she didn't seem to mind; that's when he knew that he really, really liked her.

**VII.** Pedestal knew he stood no chance against the Scizor. But it was because Isabella was in danger that he tried anyway. He also likes to think that it was because she was in danger that he won.

**VIII.** Des never once was afraid of water. He just doesn't like it much.

**IX.** He knows he's a simple Pokemon, with simple thoughts and a simple personality and simple hopes and dreams. This doesn't bother him-but that might just be because he's simple. After all, a simple Pokemon won't bother his trainer nearly as much as a hyperactive one or an evil one.

**X. **Once upon a time, things would've turned out differently. Isabella never would have died. In fact, the worst thing that would ever happen to her is getting pregnant. Des would be a very proud father, having two little Eevee running around before he ever even evolved. He wouldn't evolve until the battle with the sixth Gym leader, and while, because of that, Konstantin leaves earlier, Des is just so ecstatic he has a tail he doesn't even notice the ghost's disappearance this time around.

Isabella and he would fight for the first time, though-over what they want their babies to evolve into. Isabella wants another Glaceon, and Des, naturally, wants at least one of them to evolve into a Flareon so he can teach him or her fire moves. He spends the better part of a month trying to steal one of his trainer's Fire Stones, and Isabella spends the better half of that time trying to coax her trainer to go back to Route 217.

In the future, things would still be different. His trainer would never leave her trainer, and romance would blossom there, too. The black-haired trainer would instead travel with his brother, and while the tragedy would not be averted completely, it would have changed its form. Because of this, his trainer would triumph against him during their first meeting; they would run into each other on the way to the Elite Four. The two little Eevee with the vastly different parents would have to watch both of those parents battle to protect them, but they would win. Des never would get a Flareon, and Isabella never would get a Glaceon; soon after that, instead, they received an Espeon and a Jolteon. Ike would warm up to them significantly after that, and reluctantly, they would allow him to teach their daughter electric moves. Konstantin, never one to miss out on the fun, would join in and secretly teach their son the Psychic moves he knows, since Isabella still doesn't like him and doesn't approve of it.

Des would die before Isabella, but only after seeing his son bring him a baby Buizel and declare it his grandson. He would be the second of his team to die, and both would be from old age; he would follow Alice to the grave, and both of them would be sorely missed. But that's okay, because in that life, they all would have been _happy_.

-.-.-

_A Study In Sage_

-.-.-

**I.** Carlita only has two memories of Celia. The first was when she was first captured in the Great Marsh. She simply remembered being captured, and then let out to behold a kind, smiling face. Her other memory was simply getting taken from her. If asked, she'll deny remembering it.

**II.** Carlita never actually forgot SolarBeam. She simply had enough sense to figure out that it freaked out her trainer, so she pretended to forget it and never used it again. She got to learn Iron Tail as well to boot.

**III. **Above all else, Carlita loves dancing. Even after evolving and getting used to a new body, she continued it and even incorporated it into her fighting style. Most other fighting Pokemon would scoff or point and laugh if they saw her moves, precisely for that reason. But it's for that reason that she will beat them every time. They have no idea how to block her.

**IV.** Carlita's first love, which she would never admit to anyone else on pain of death, was probably the brown-haired boy who rescued her from the thief and became her new trainer. She gradually got over that, but sometimes, she can't help but giggle at how cute he acts.

**V.** Though she got over it, sometimes she is so fiercely protective of her trainer she even scares herself.

**VI.** Carlita doesn't like Ike for the same reason she doesn't like Konstantin, or Alice, or Zarek (even if she's steadily gotten used to all of them). They replaced her as the new Pokemon on the team.

**VII.** Though she's weak to flying types, she's always wanted to try flying, at least once. She never is quite sure how to accomplish this, and has several grandiose plans, but has never gone through with any of them. As a plant, she wants to get away from her roots and fly. At least, that's her excuse. (It also seems fun.)

**VIII.** Carlita's last love was probably Arrojadoa the Cacturne, who she met in Johto. He was her last love because she never saw him again. She went back to Sinnoh, and he went back to Hoenn. She stopped believing in love after that and instead focused on her team. They were there for her, after all, and she wouldn't lose another trainer. It was why she tried so hard to keep them all together.

**IX.** Carlita dances because she can't sing. Sometimes, she thinks that Celia used to sing, which is why she started dancing, but she actually can't remember. She also sometimes wishes that her trainer would sing, just so she could see if the situation of having a trainer sing to her is familiar. She's never quite gotten up the courage to ask, though.

**X.** Once upon a time, things would've turned out differently. Carlita would have still been stolen from Celia, and still wind up with her current trainer from a stroke of coincidental luck. They would wind up with Ike almost immediately afterward, though, since they were already in the vicinity. Konstantin would arrive later, but they would run into him not because of the cruel mercenary, but because the black-haired human would want to explore Sendoff Spring.

Alice and Zarek would still arrive in ways unnervingly similar to how they already did. Zarek would be hatched, but her trainer would receive his egg before he caught Alice, so she isn't sure if the order is switched or not. And instead of a Noctowl, this time it's a Meditite, which she objects to because it reminds her too much of Kamala.

Carlita would be happy, too. For awhile, because of the messed-up timeline, she would be the strongest on the team and that would be completely fine with her. Instead of teaching her trainer how to fight, she would teach him how to dance. Alice would be the one to sing for them, and while it looked as if Des or Zarek might join in, it would always just be her and her trainer dancing. She would never meet Arrojadoa, and she would not be nearly as taken with Alexander, so her devotion was solely for her trainer.

She would be the one to take down the Champion's final Pokemon and secure the Championship for her trainer, and she would never forget that moment of sheer _triumph_ for the rest of her life. Because she was the last one out, she would be the first to receive her ribbon, and she kept it on her until the fabric tore and her trainer told her to take it off so they could replace it. Her life would be perfect because as a Champion's Pokemon, all she gets to do is fight opponents and defend the title and be a part of her awesome team.

-.-.-

_A Study In Lightning_

-.-.-

**I.** Ike didn't always hate humans. He started hating humans after his mother was captured before his eyes and he was left, alone, young, starving, and relatively defenseless. After that, he became stronger, the strongest Pokemon in the area. He chased off trainers and their Pokemon effortlessly. He led the wild Shinx in the area. It wasn't until he had to face down a Kangaskhan and a Froslass and a very stupid trainer who happened to chuck an Ultra Ball at his head that he lost.

**II. **Ike has the most colorful vocabulary of all of the team, and he's proud of that fact, too. It only goes to show how superior he is to all of them.

**III.** Though he doesn't admit it even to himself, Ike might've become a tad bit attached to his team. His training gave him strength, strength he couldn't have dreamed of if he had stayed in his home forest. He's only using them, though. He knows that much. He just doesn't know if it's still true or not.

**IV.** His favorite member of the team would have to be Zarek. Ike, for starters, has an advantage on him. Size, age, experience, type… Ike is his superior in every way. But Zarek never is intimidated by him, and never backs down from him. The Luxray can respect that, and grudgingly comes to be almost _fond_ of him. Alice, naturally, hates him for it.

**V.** Though he's now a trained Pokemon, Ike has never _once_ kidded himself. He is a monster through and through. He relishes that truth and it keeps him sane and tame. He keeps telling himself he's only waiting for the day when he can rip his trainer's throat out, even if that day seems more and more distant with the passing time.

**VI. **Ike's father wasn't a Luxray. He doesn't know this, and it's unlikely he'll ever find it out. His father was an Arbok-a trainer's Pokemon. If he ever did find it out, he would probably die of shame.

**VII.** Ike has never been in love, and scoffs at the very idea of it. Unbeknownst to him, however, he is loved; Harlan the Smeargle harbored feelings for him ever since they met.

**VIII. **His least favorite human isn't his trainer, surprisingly. His trainer is probably his favorite human, in fact. Though since he hates all humans anyway, it's sort of a moot point.

**IX.** Ike has never forgiven Raikou for not letting him kill the Mareep. He does respect Raikou, though, which is probably why he's the only Pokemon to ever get him angry that he hasn't sworn bloody revenge upon.

**X.** Once upon a time, things would've turned out differently. Ike would have been the Abomasnow.

Eventually, after a near-capture with a different trainer, he would get it into his head that he couldn't become any stronger by staying in the same area with the same weak Pokemon. So he would leave his home and go traveling. The thought that he's mimicking trainers wouldn't even cross his mind. He would travel far and wide, and while he would be defeated several times, he would always become stronger and defeat his opponents on the second attempt.

Eventually, he would evolve.

Eventually, he would evolve _twice_ and, hundreds or thousands of miles away from his home, he would become the Luxray his mother never got to become. He would become powerful, and it would be completely because of _himself_. It makes him aggressive and arrogant. He learns how to be truly vicious, to go for his enemies' weak spots and exploit them. He learns how to be truly merciless, and not stop attacking until someone stopped breathing.

He learns how to be truly strong. Or so he believes.

Ike would eventually get into a bit too much trouble when he takes down a trainer's Girafarig. The trainer would actually release a Camerupt, of all Pokemon, in a twist of fate meant to remind him of what could have been, and it would be the one to defeat him mercilessly with its ground moves. Even in another time, another place, he would still rely too much on his electricity.

Ike wouldn't be put out, however. It would be just a day later that he hunts down the trainer again and kills him. He doesn't release any of the Pokemon in the pokeballs, instead leaving them there to rot as revenge. It is his first human killing, and it makes him feel empowered. So he continues it.

Eventually, he would kill one too many trainers, and a very angry older brother would come and take his revenge with a Garchomp.

-.-.-

_A Study In Marrow_

-.-.-

**I. **Konstantin knows he's tormenting the trainer. But he just loves it too much to even try stopping. It's in his very DNA; ghosts exist to torment the living. He feels guilty for every giggle, for every single bit of pleasure he derives from it, though.

**II.** Konstantin had once been offered an apprenticeship under Katerina. He turned it down, however, because of the ruckus the brown-haired human caused when he fell into the Spring. He was too curious about the human to stay in the colony after that.

**III.** Prior to following his (though he hardly knew it at the time) trainer out of the Spring, Konstantin was never called 'Kostya' by anyone but Ivan. Now, he's called it by almost everyone.

**IV.** Konstantin, after officially becoming a trained Pokemon, makes a promise to himself that he will never, _ever_ evolve. He's terrified that he'll be able to speak to his beloved comrade in his own language if he does.

**V. **Konstantin immediately takes to Alice, since they can both fly. She doesn't really like his sudden, if platonic, affection. When he takes to complimenting her, however, she rapidly warms up to him. He's never been happier than the first time they race each other.

**VI.** He was jealous of the Froslass, and never really got over that, although he concealed it well. He was jealous that she got to him first.

**VII.** After the first time he used Future Sight, he didn't like using it anymore. The things he saw frightened him too much. It was then that he understood why Katerina was blind; she must have done it to herself somehow in a vain effort to stop it. Even after using it just _once_, he still dreamt of the things he foresaw. He wished he had never learned the move.

**VIII.** Konstantin's favorite food is bone marrow. Once, he daydreamed about it when he was hungry, and somehow it culminated in imagining himself eating his trainer's bones. He hasn't eaten it since, and hopes he never will again. Unless, maybe, when his trainer finally dies…

**IX. **He hated Nick. Konstantin hated Nick like he never hated anyone before. He despised him for leaving his trainer behind.

**X. **Once upon a time, things would've turned out differently. Konstantin would've stayed at Sendoff Spring-at least, for a little while longer. Long enough to outlive Katerina and become the new seer for the colony, being allowed to learn Future Sight. He doesn't get that far, though, before a black-haired trainer looking for Giratina appears and captures him in a half-accident, half-attack.

He doesn't stay with the trainer for long, however, and is soon given to a younger trainer as a gift. He is the fourth to arrive on a team consisting of a Camerupt, Breloom, and Luxray, and he is jarred at the fact that he, the oracle of his colony, is the weakest member of this team. He doesn't hate the other Pokemon, though, oh no. Instead, he fights them with passive aggression and pretty little lies.

Eventually, the trainer gets so fed up with him that he punches him in the face, cracking his skull mask and nearly knocking him out.

Konstantin evolves after that. He evolves into a Dusclops, and after a brief explanation of how Dusclops evolve further, he agrees to be temporarily traded in order to become a Dusknoir.

He doesn't speak anymore after that. He takes a vow of silence, and no one ever figures out _why_, because naturally, he doesn't talk.

He willingly becomes mute, though, because he finds he can speak the human language. And that scares him. He doesn't want to think about eating his trainer, now that he's finally used to the idea of it. Konstantin willingly becomes mute because he doesn't want anyone else to ever find this out.

He does call his trainer "comrade" one last time, however, when he's on his death bed, decades later. He says it in the human language, just because his trainer deserved to know. And his trainer doesn't hate him for it. Instead, he just smiles and pulls on his Dusknoir's hand. "I've always liked it when you called me that, Kostya."

-.-.-

_A Study In Bleach_

-.-.-

**I.** Alice only cleans herself so often because she's a trained Pokemon now. Trained Pokemon don't need to be dirty like _wild_ Pokemon, after all.

**II.** She never liked babies, or eggs, or even the thought of being a mother until she laid eyes on Zarek's egg. Then, she stole the egg and worked her best to hatch it herself. She didn't care if she didn't like the idea of any of what she was doing. She was doing it. Even after he hatched and she saw what he really looked like, nothing like herself, she still thought of him as her baby. She _did_ hatch him, after all.

**III.** When Alice learned the circumstances behind her capture, she didn't get mad or depressed or feel put-out. Instead, she laughed. She believes in destiny, after all.

**IV.** Everyone seemed to expect Carlita and Alice to get along, probably because they were both female. Imagine their surprise when they bickered with each other almost constantly. It isn't until they battle each other, though, that the others eventually realize that they don't _hate_ each other. You don't hate your sister, after all. You just don't (always) like her.

**V.** Once, her trainer told her the story of Alice in Wonderland. He sheepishly explained that she _wasn't_ named after the Alice in the story, but she liked to think she was, anyway. It was after that that she started wearing a black ribbon around her neck and fancied herself the Pokemon version of the Alice in the story.

**VI.** Alice is the only one who's cared enough to find out the origin of all of the names of her teammates. Des offhandedly commented that he's known about them all, since he was there the whole time, but even he seemed surprised by a couple of their trainer's responses when she asked him about it.

**VII.** She thinks of herself as girly. Carlita usually agrees with this, but disagrees with the fact that Alice thinks she's girly, too. She still can't figure out _why_.

**VIII.** She's secretly relieved when she isn't the last one to evolve. She knows it's bad to be glad that Zarek was the one left in the dust, but she's glad all the same. She confesses this to him one time, but he brushes it off as nothing. It's after that, after what felt like a great weight was lifted from her heart, that she starts doting on him again.

**IX.** When her trainer remarks casually that she might be the only one to take down Chase, Alice can only stare at him in shock. It's hours later that the full impact of what he said really hits her. And she cries. Not from pride or sadness or worry. She cries because she thinks of how far she's come, and how glad she is that her trainer realized that before she had.

**X.** Once upon a time, things would've turned out differently. She would still be captured by the same person, in a funnily similar manner, but instead of being kept, she would be given away to a little blonde girl who spoke French. She would not become a trained Pokemon, but instead, a pet.

Eventually, after having a furious discussion with a Gallade named Jacques about what had _happened _to her, she ran away. Alice ends up with her initial trainer, if he could be called that, and stubbornly refuses to leave him again. He caught her first, after all, so he might as well take responsibility.

Of course, it only takes a couple months of bullying from a horribly mean Luxray before she runs away again. This time, she ends up with not an owner, not a trainer, but a breeder. He had a very handsome Pidgeotto who didn't have a name, but they fell in love regardless. Alice was happy-at least, until she got skittish and ran away again.

She spent the rest of her life running. Since she had no permanent home, no place ever _felt _like home to her. She tried several times to return to the area where she had been captured, but it wasn't the same place she'd left. Alice was the one who didn't end up happy.

-.-.-

_A Study In Oil_

-.-.-

**I.** Zarek, as the youngest and weakest and last on the team, learns from his predecessors. From Des, he takes a sense of nobility and dignity on and off the battlefield. From Carlita, he learns to have fun in battles (and how to dance, though he's not very good at it). He takes from Ike sheer strength of personality; don't back down, don't show weakness, fight anyone and everyone if that's what it takes to win. From Konstantin, he learns the value of discretion and thinking things through. Finally, from Alice, he learns how to _fly_.

**II.** Alice was his first hero. Ike was his second. His trainer was his third. Zarek loves them all for it, but in different ways. They're not comparable, so he's never done them the injustice of trying to.

**III.** Contrary to the common consensus, he never felt that he was at a disadvantage. This may just be because of how the type strengths and weaknesses in the team lay, or it may be because he was babied by Alice, protected by his trainer, and was the only one to really gain Ike's affection. He's never questioned it, because after all, it works in his favor most of the time.

**IV. **Zarek isn't sure where his name came from. He's never questioned that, either-unlike every other member of the team.

**V. **No matter who it is, he greets them with a pinch. His teammates and trainer are still getting use to it and the constant sore fingers, paws, tails, ears, and just about everything else he can get in his grasp.

**VI.** His teammates all have favorite moves. It disturbs him sometimes that he can't figure out what his favorite one is.

**VII.** Zarek's first memory is his trainer fighting with Alice over the cracking egg. As such, he remembers two pairs of eyes staring down at him: one black, one blue. He imprinted more on Alice, however, because she flew him around whenever he wanted.

**VIII.** Zarek is probably the Pokemon who cares the most evenly about the team. Or maybe he's the one who regards all of them with the most positive feelings. This worries him whenever he stops to think about it, but he's not completely sure why.

**IX.** Since he's the baby of the team, he's always, well, babied. This was all well and good until he evolved. Then he wouldn't put up with the crap anymore and promptly beat most of the team (and his trainer) into submission.

**X.** Once upon a time, things would've turned out differently. Zarek was hatched by the breeder who had once owned his parents. His parents were long gone-so the human took their place. He was kept, unlike most other Pokemon. His owner sold Pokemon frequently, so Zarek saw dozens come and go. It gave him a jaded personality. He saw the world at a distance, never bothering to get close to any of the other Pokemon, only staying with his human.

He evolved and became strong, given time. His personality only got worse, though. He would start being used to break other Pokemon, ones who were newly captured or traded. He was the strongest, after all.

It was a shiny Murkrow that finally managed to best him, perch on his head, and start pecking at his eyes. Her name was Tenny. She was Zarek's first friend, because she took the time to tease him and learn about him and care about him. She brought him gifts of silvery things.

Then, one day, she was sold. Zarek was heartbroken. His first and only friend was gone, and he was left alone again with a team of strangers and an owner who had little time for him anymore. And, eventually, he was sold, too. He was sold to a black-haired trainer who went on to become the Champion. Zarek discovered that the world of training held much more fun that he first would've thought, and slowly grew attached to his new life. The thing that made him the happiest was that he had a stable team, though.


	2. Catch22

**Catch-22: Twenty-Two Truths About The Human Cast of Pedestal**

-.-.-

**1**. Despite having his name constantly compared to the old techno song _Doctor Jones _when people find out about his long-dead aspiration of being a doctor, he actually does like the song.

**2**. At one time or another, just about everyone he knew was up on a pedestal of some sort. His mother for being, well, his mother-his father for similar reasons. His teacher, no matter how creepy he thought her to be, was placed upon one because she was a trainer and taught him. Even his friends have all been there at one point or another. Pedestal the Numel was the first time he admitted to himself he had a problem, though.

**3**. He was a good swimmer before he got Des. Afterward, he never was quite as good. (He nearly drown on three separate occasions.)

**4**. When Hanna asked if he "liked that Nick", he hadn't known how exactly to reply to her. Mostly it was just so random that he could only reply with an offended snort. He _wasn't_ drooling, either.

**5**. His first crush was probably on Nurse Joy. She healed his Pokemon, she greeted him with a smile, she gave him a hot meal and a place to sleep. She _cared_. It was only later that he found out that most, if not all, trainers went through the same phase. (Some also developed crushes on Officer Jenny, but he skipped that phase due to being arrested.)

**6**. He has more scars on his body than he'd care to admit. He still has scars on his wrists from scratching them so much from the poison ivy. Both hands have a variety of mostly-healed burns from either Des or Ike. He's broken two bones. He has bite marks from Ike and Konstantin in a variety of places. He also has distinctly vampire-like marks on his neck from the night he met Ike and the Shinx chomped into his neck, and right below that, he has two claw marks from when he had to hold his Breloom away from attacking Ike. He's gotten more bruises and black eyes and blood spilt than he can even keep up with. He's convinced he's broken his nose on more than one occasion, though since he was never near a hospital, he never bothered to get it fixed or to even check. Both thumbs and pinkies have neat, ring-like scars around them from Zarek. His voice has gotten a bit of a permanent rasp from all of the smoke and spores and ozone and death-smell and everything else he's had to inhale over the years. He's dislocated both shoulders and cracked one wrist, all of which were unskillfully fixed, if that. He probably has a couple dents and cracks in his skull, though again, he's never bothered to check. Alice cracked two ribs after she evolved and tackled him excitedly. She also jabbed her beak into his palm when he tried to take Zarek's egg away from her the first time. And even though he's a patchwork of scars and injuries and hurts, he wouldn't trade it for the world because it's part of the training experience.

**7**. He, unlike most other trainers, doesn't have a favorite Pokemon. He has days when he prefers one or two over the others, of course, but only days. He loves them all differently and more or less equally. He's probably one of the purer trainers in the world because of it.

**8**. While vacationing in Johto, he made a startling discovery: he and his friends were color-coded. Some of this was Hanna's fault, since she was the one to replace his wardrobe, but still. He was dressed in blues, she tended to like greens and pinks, and Nick usually stuck to reds and blacks. This has amazed him ever since, because even after everything that's happened, it's _still_ true.

**9**. Deep down, he still wants to become the Champion. He just doesn't want to think about getting farther than Nick ever did.

**10**. When he meets Vaikuntha for the first time, he's amazed. Vai is so warm, so kind, so caring, it's no wonder that he adds everyone to his family. He also reminds him irresistibly of Nick in the way that he smiles and plays with his team. It's why he keeps an emotional distance and doesn't cultivate what could otherwise be a great friendship. He hates himself for it, too.

**11**. He's secretly glad that he was acknowledged as a strong trainer when the recruiting starts. Even if he's surprised at the number of trainers in the potential group, he's still happy he made the cut. (He also thought it was depressing that Nick didn't.)

**12**. Hanna met Jude when her father had expressed interest in getting her a Pokemon for her birthday. She initially rebelled against the idea; she had never wanted to be a trainer. Then she saw Isabella and Alexander, then infants, and fell in love with them. Jude is still the only breeder she'll trust, though.

**13**. She has never once pretended to be a trainer, not really or seriously. She knows she's not. She's never tried to challenge the Gyms, she's never really battled other people, she's never done much except have a good time with her Pokemon. It's why she's so broken up that Nick had to take them from her.

**14**. She's never put a label on what she and Jude have. She is half-scared to. The other half of her just doesn't want to be like all of those other girls, so desperate for the title of "girlfriend" to someone.

**15**. Nick's second Pokemon wasn't captured by him. He inherited a trained Growlithe named Fargo when his uncle, the circus performer, died. It was then that he became a trainer.

**16**. Nick didn't go crazy. That would imply that it happened all at once, that he had no idea what he was doing, that it was an active occurrence. It wasn't. His sanity just slowly slipped from him, day after day, catastrophe after catastrophe. By the time he realized what was actually happening again, it was too late and he was staring up into his judgment.

**17**. If he had heard the ghost's warning, he probably would have laughed. But at least he would've known what was going on. He would've kept laughing, though; he would cackle at roasting the Abomasnow, he would scream with laughter while beating two girls with a shovel, he would giggle himself senseless while on his way to his doom.

**18**. In school, he never was much of a good student. He was surprised when he took to training so well. He was even more surprised when he found out that he was a good teacher to boot.

**19**. He and Matthew, his little brother, were never close until _after_ he left. Irony works that way sometimes.

**20**. Chase was his favorite. Everyone knew it, and no one argued over it. It was just the fact of the matter. Chase was the only constant Nick had had in his life since he was ten years old, and was the only constant he had after his little brother died. It was the reason, on his saner days, that he felt so guilty for dragging his Garchomp down with him.

**21**. Jude is something of a celebrity in the Pokemon breeding world. He's the one the rich folks all go to. He's still young but he's the wealthiest breeder in all of Johto (and the second richest in Sinnoh). Most of this is due to Hanna's penchant for rare, shiny Pokemon, and part of it is due to the fact that Robert Beaumanoir dotes on his daughter shamelessly.

**22**. Vaikuntha, more than any other trainer of the day and age, is a hero. He's also the only trainer of the day and age who has never once thought that about himself. He's just another trainer, after all. The difference is that Vai truly wants what's _best_.


	3. Lulz Oneshot

"Hey, baby, like what you see?" Nick asked around a mouthful of the bottom hem of his shirt. I turned and spat out the milk and cereal that had just made the supreme mistake of going into my mouth. Ike wasn't happy to receive that in his face, either.

As Konstantin hurriedly intervened to prevent Ike from strangling me with my entrails, I wiped my chin as best I could and tried to pull coherent thoughts together once more. What do you say when your best friend sidles up to you at breakfast and lifts up his shirt, strikes a pose, and says something like _that_?

It didn't help my morale or view of the entire situation when he cracked up and had to lean on me in order to stay upright. Which made things more awkward on my end because I could only think of the fact that his abs were pressed up against my side and his breath was hot in my ear. I was a teenage boy (okay, _almost_), dang it, and my mind did not need any more stimulus.

"Nick, what the heck are you on," I deadpanned as best I could, elbowing him away. Still laughing, he collapsed on the floor beside me. I reddened and tried to recover whatever dignity I could salvage at that point. "Hanna might've fainted, but I don't know why you felt like trying to impress _me_. I'm not some hormonal girl."

"Sure—haha—act like it sometimes!" he exclaimed between peals of laughter. I glared at him, probably turning even redder from the death of my pride, until he collected himself and stopped laughing. He sat up beside me, pretended to wipe a tear from his eye (although at that point, I wouldn't have doubted it if it were real), and smiled up at me as if he'd done nothing wrong. Yeah right. I wasn't about to forgive him—and Ike wasn't about to forgive me, oops—anytime soon. "Oh, come on. It was _funny_."

"Yeah," I agreed sarcastically.

"Okay, fine, sorry," he replied. I still wasn't going to forgive him. "Chase and I were just discussing our training plan. Keeping up with him really tones your muscles, you know?"

"No, I don't." I never had to keep up with Des. He couldn't move very fast.

"Oh, right." Nick pulled himself up onto the bench beside me again, head tilted to the side. I recognized it as his thinking face. Anything that involved his crazy mind right then I didn't want to know; I moodily returned to my cereal. "You could join us in our morning workouts. I'm sure Carlita would love it. Plus we'd put some muscle on those skinny bones of yours, and I bet you'd look really cute with some definition." And again, the cereal was spat out. At least there were no unlucky felines for it to land on this time.

"Wh-What are you talking about?" I asked, a little panicky.

Nick burst out laughing again. I glared at him as hard as I could until he got the message and responded as seriously as he could, "L-Look, you and Hanna are… Well, I don't know if you're together or not right now—"

"We're _not_," I assured him.

He put up his hands in surrender. "Even so, you're both teenagers, and you'd make a cute couple. And if you don't want to try to impress her, you'll meet a girl some day you _do_ want to impress. And girls like the toned, tan trainers."

"Yeah right. With my luck, any girl I'd like would be like, gay or something."

"This is what I'm talking about!" Nick exclaimed, seizing me by my shoulders. I stared dumbly up at him, once again lost by his antics. "You need some self-confidence! You don't believe in yourself as a man or as a trainer, and I'm trying to fix both of those for you! Carlita will get a workout, which fighting types _love_, and you'll become hot and have the ladies tripping over themselves to get to you! A little female attention is all you need for an ego boost."

I suddenly caught on to what he was trying to do. I jerked away from him, fixed him with my best scowl, and corrected, "No, you want to get Hanna away from you and foist her upon me."

"See, you don't think you're smart, either, and you can come up with that stuff."

"You are absolutely _terrible_."

"I'll take that as a yes to the plan," he replied cheerily. I didn't bother arguing the point.

-.-.-

I was ready to argue the point again when Nick literally rolled me out of bed at six in the morning. Even Carlita wasn't quite ready for that. We both woke up a great deal more when he pushed us out into the frigid morning air, however. Teeth chattering, I wrapped my arms around myself and stammered, "N-Nick! It's c-_cold_ out here! How are w-we supposed to w-work out when we're g-ge-getting hypothermia?"

"Oh, come on." He was in a short-sleeved shirt and was stretching. I was in a long-sleeved shirt and ready to start hugging random things for warmth. "Chase doesn't mind it, and he's a reptile."

"He's also tougher than we are," I whined. Carlita made an outraged sound and punched me in the arm, a little hard. Rubbing the sore spot, I amended, "Than I am, anyway."

"It won't be so bad once you get the blood flowing. Which involves moving!" I was forced into a shambling jog by Nick's cajoling. Once we started moving, Carlita soon perked up and was quick to pull me along beside her. And while it was true that I was feeling a little warmer, I was still cold, and my throat burned from the cold air.

By the time the sun was fully up and warming the world, I was sweating and shivering and thoroughly convinced this was a terrible idea. "How can you stand this every morning?"

"It's not every morning. Every _other_ morning. If we did it during the day, you'd only get hotter, though." Chase growled something in agreement and picked up his trainer. Nick laughed and wiggled out of his grasp. "Exactly! It's not so bad in the mornings. Next time, we'll start a bit later, but tough it out this time, okay?"

"Fine," I conceded. I had barely gotten the word out before Carlita was on me. She forced me down into an awkward stance, positioned my arms and legs, and then jumped back to admire her handiwork. I could tell that it was her fighting stance—but it worked much better for a Breloom to use than a human.

It took another couple of hours, but by the time Carlita figured out I could not be squished into Breloom-sized poses, it got fun. We adapted them to my abilities, and after awhile of learning how to roundhouse kick, I caught Nick trying to copy me. Carlita collapsed in hysterics at his poor form and that was the end of any teaching we'd get from her. I was forced to return her, lest she pass out from oxygen deprivation, when Chase tried to copy us as well.

"I kinda thought that was fun." Nick beamed and tried to sling an arm around my shoulders, but I ducked out of it with a laugh.

"I'm pretty sure she's never going to be able to look at us with a straight face ever again."

"I figured. After all, us lowly mortals trying to mimic the style of the fighting gods?" He spread his arms wide and adopted a very affected accent. "Unheard of!"

"Preposterous!" I agreed, trying and failing to pronounce it in his accent.

"How dare we!"

"We're positively a _disgrace_!"

"To fighting and training and polite company!"

Chase rolled his eyes with a snort. I had a feeling what he growled next was something along the lines of "_that's for sure_", but without a translator, I couldn't be certain. Still, Nick must've understood him, because he laughed embarrassedly and smacked his Garchomp on the shoulder.

"He says we're an embarrassment to training," Nick said affectionately. It was my turn to roll my eyes. "Man, between the two of you, I can't catch a break. And here I'd thought once I had gotten out of the house, I could manage to not bring shame to everyone I know." He heaved a great sigh and hung his head, his black hair falling over his eyes. "I should just die. Sinnoh would be far better off without me!"

"Yeah, totally," I agreed sarcastically. "Think of how Hanna would feel if you did something like that! Not to mention the fact that I'm pretty sure the Elite Four would miss your constant challenges."

"Don't rub it in."

"Hey, you were close that last time. I totally thought you had her once Chase took out her Garchomp!"

He turned to me in surprise. "You watched that?"

"You _called _me and ordered me to," I deadpanned, although the fact that he hadn't expected me to stung a little.

"Yeah, when I was fighting Bertha. …You watch my challenges?"

Trying to get the lighthearted mood back, I looked away and shrugged casually. "Well, yeah. It's not often your best friend is on TV, right?"

"Hey, Matthew didn't even catch my last challenge, so that's why I was surprised."

"Remind me again—_why _did you challenge them at three in the morning?"

"Because they liked me enough to allow it," he said with a grin. "Lucian basically dared me to. He said I couldn't beat him at any time."

"I'm pretty sure that's not how he meant it…" Leave it to Nick to twist the rules in his favor. Then again, I knew how much he liked challenges. He probably saw it as one.

"Hey…" I turned to him, worried at the serious tone again. He exchanged a look with Chase, and then back to me. "We're going to challenge them again soon."

"Oh, cool." I would be lying if I didn't feel left behind, though. I was still putting off Crasher Wake, so I guess I could only blame myself.

Nick tilted his head to the side and continued staring at me, trying to gauge my reaction. As if I was hard to read. "Do you want to come with?"

"Huh?" Okay that—I had not been expecting that. "Is that—Are you allowed to do that?"

"I don't see why not… I took Matthew along with me when I challenged Roark," he replied innocently.

"It's sort of not the same thing."

He smiled at his loss. "They like meeting new trainers. It's pretty much the same group who challenge them all the time, so they'd probably like you. Plus you'll be there soon enough, once you get past Crasher—"

"No." I had long since learned that every time he brought up the water Gym leader, a bribe, dare, bet, or other sort of challenge would take place. It was easier to cut him off early. "I only have three Pokemon on my team."

"Four if you count Kostya."

"Three if you count Ike's attitude towards me," I shot back with a huff. "They're not going to be impressed by that. I sort of, you know, _want_ to impress them. Maybe if I catch another Pokemon…"

"Kostya would enjoy that."

"And I'm sure _you_ would too. Because you and he just love each other and are best buddies!"

Nick grimaced and glared at the grass at his feet. "Point." He sighed again, ran a hand through his hair, and set the other on his hip. "The offer still stands. You could come with me, see the League, meet some of the trainers you'll be competing with for the Championship one day."

"I'm mostly worried about you." I was only half-joking, too.

"Nah, I'm a pushover." He stuck out his tongue at me. Nick then added, "Seriously, it wouldn't hurt to get a jumpstart. It's kind of cutthroat up there sometimes, and I won't always be here to protect you."

"Because I _need _it—" He gave me a look. "…Okay, point."

"Like, there's this one guy who's challenged the League four or five times now, with a water team. It's kind of fun to watch him go at it."

"Aren't there ground and fire types?"

"Exactly. And then he gets curb stomped by Lucian or Cynthia." Nick shrugged with a chuckle. "Then again, we all pretty much get curb stomped by Cynthia. She's tough."

"You're not encouraging me."

"Okay, fine. How about this one guy. He's younger than me and has so much potential. I've seen him spar with the others—he's unstoppable if you give him time to plan and he has his Skarmory out. But the second he reaches Flint, he freezes up. Every time. So you're not the only one scared of type differences."

That hardly reassured me. I shrugged as nonchalantly as I could, and then explained, "I just don't think it'd be fair of me to go. I only have six badges."

"Because that number is certainly not because of a lack of trying," Nick said in exasperation, throwing his hands up. "Okay, I give. But probably next weekend, I'm headed up there again. If you change your mind, feel free to tag along. Are you sure you'll be able to survive on your own without me?"

"I think I'll be able to manage."

"But Crasher Wake might come and kill you in your sleep!"

"Not funny." Especially since I'd had a nightmare like that once. "Just leave me with a water bowl and some kibble and I think I'll be fine without your expert guidance. Need I remind you _whose_ Pokemon was laughing at _whom_?"

"Hey, Kamala laughs at you all the time," he replied easily. I was not surprised. "Okay, it's getting hot out here. Time to head back."

"Not going to take your shirt off this time? Don't want to attract the fangirls?" I snorted.

"Nah. I don't want to do it for anyone."

"You didn't have a problem with it yesterday."

"Only for you," he purred. I blushed and tried not to throw myself away from him—made infinitely harder when he seized my shoulders and hugged me to his side. "Aha! I can still win by shaming you! And now if you would be so kind as to challenge Crasher Wake—"

"_No_, Nick."

"I'll take my shirt off for you."

"No."

"Okay, okay. I'll take it off _and_ flex for you," he cried in defeat. "But that's all you're getting out of me."

"I liked it when you bribed me with dinner better," I muttered, trying to hide my red face.

"Okay, fine!" He pounced on that far too eagerly for it to assuage my fears. "I'll wine and dine you. Minus the alcohol, but if dinner's what you want—"

"Nick, no!" I spluttered, finally skittering away from him.

"I think I found a new favorite pastime," he announced. Chase snorted and grinned at me, as if telling me it was my problem now. Nick marched off towards the Center with his chest puffed out, and I trailed along in his wake. I would never be able to win against him.

Maybe some time apart would be a good thing. (I was practically pushing him out the door after the dreams I had that night.)


	4. Define Who We Are

"Nick."

He looked up at me. Not happy, not sad, not angry, not much of anything. Just those golden eyes, barely visible underneath his shaggy hair and low hood. Black, shadow, so much darkness, but then those golden hazel honey straw eyes. They seemed to be brighter after all of these years.

"You came," he remarked, voice void of emotion.

"Of course I did." There was so much more I could add to that—how I couldn't resist, how I had to see him, how I had to end this—but I couldn't force it out. The words wouldn't leave my throat. Behind him, Chase locked onto me with equally yellow eyes, narrowed and distrusting. At least I could read him. What had happened to the amiable, social, talented young man that had once been my best friend?

"I've been waiting for you," he said, breaking into a smile for the first time. It did nothing to comfort me.

I swallowed thickly and literally _forced _the words out. "N-Nick, you're coming back with me. I have to fix this."

"…Why do I need to be fixed?" he asked in a quiet, low growl. He suddenly reminded me very strongly of Chase, and not for the first time, I could appreciate the bond between trainer and starter. "I'm not the one killing, you know that. I didn't mean to start this revolution. I didn't _want _to start this—things were almost fine how they were before."

"Except for Matthew."

"…Except for Matthew," he admitted in the softest voice he'd used yet. He ducked his head and used his hood and hair as a shield for those light eyes of his.

"Nick, I know how that must have felt." I stepped towards him cautiously, resisting the urge to completely run at him. Either for a hug or a tackle, I couldn't be sure. Neither would lead to great results.

"No, you _don't_!" His head whipped back up and he glared at me for the first time. I jumped back, heart rate skyrocketing. Those were the eyes that had killed Stantler and Houndoom with a shovel, those were the eyes that had glared down Cynthia, those were the eyes that had reprimanded me for challenging Maylene.

"You're acting like you are the only one in the world who's lost something!" I cried back, unable to do much else. I was an only child and my immediate family was still alive. The only bits of tragedy I could cling to were Woonu—and, of course, Nick. But cling I did. "And Nick, you're _not_!"

"Then where was all of this sympathy when I needed it!" he snarled, but immediately shut his mouth and looked like he wanted to take it back. He turned fully away from me, but not before I caught a glimpse of the fact that he was about ready to cry. "Goddamn it, you look like Matthew. Older. You've grown so much." I tried valiantly to ignore the shudder that worked its way up my spine at the words. "…I don't want to have to fight you."

I smiled in relief, unable to help it in the least. "I don't want to have to fight you either, Nick. Please, don't let it end this way."

"What way?" he asked flatly, wrapping an arm around Chase's neck, burrowing his face into the dragon's rough scales.

"I don't want this showdown. I want… Well, I want a lot of things. I want to go back to the way things were before. But I know that can't happen, not anymore." I shook my head, concentrating on anything but the pathetic wreck of a trainer before me. "Nick, I know your side of this. I can sympathize. I think I can sympathize more than you think."

He looked at me once more, but didn't say anything.

It took even more effort to force it out this time. "I've killed."

His eyes widened in horror, and all at once, he was in front of me, seizing me by the shirtfront and lifting me off my feet. Completely unbidden and unwanted, I couldn't help but remember all of the times he'd picked me up in the years past. The reflex was to grin and laugh. What I did was hiss in a breath and go rigid and tried not to kick him. "You're lying!" he accused wildly, desperately.

"What if I am?" I had said it that way to elicit a reaction, but I hadn't expected this one. Now I didn't know what to do.

"You can't _do_ that! You're better than that!" He seemed to realize that he was holding me a couple inches above the ground and dropped me with a look of disgust that hurt more than anything else. I couldn't help but shy away under his gaze. He still held that power, that senseless feeling of wanting to be good for him, over me and I _hated _it.

It was the first and final straw. "I'm no better than anyone else, so stop idealizing me! I've made mistakes! I'm scared and paranoid and sad and pissed off and my best friend is the biggest serial killer in history!" I shouted at him, hands balled into fists. Chase growled at me, but Nick and I both ignored him.

"You should have known better then! You _should have_—You shouldn't have fallen like I did! You didn't have to become a monster too!" he cried in frustration, tearing at his hair. He stalked away from me, oblivious to the effect his words had on me.

He had called himself a monster, said he'd fallen. He used the words the ghosts were fond of using. He—"You _knew_." It was not a question, not a demand, not an accusation. It was a fact, and that was worst of all.

He looked up at me, eyes wide and staring, mouth parted in mid-rant. "What?"

"The ghosts warned me about this. But you—you _knew_," I breathed, unable to speak properly. I couldn't handle this revelation; if I spoke it aloud, actually out loud, I was sure I'd explode. He couldn't have known. Because knowing would have meant that he _allowed_ this to happen just as much as I had.

But no—Lassie had known. Kamala had known.

"Don't do this," he said quietly.

"You _knew_, Nick."

"Don't do this! Don't think about it!" he warned again, voice rising. He had that wild look again, too. I was pressing him into a corner without even being aware of it.

"…Why did you do it, then?" I asked, struggling to swallow the lump in my throat, ignoring the stinging in my eyes. I looked up at him, begging for this to be a lie. He couldn't have known about it. That would mean that he went down this path _willingly_. He couldn't have done that—he was just a victim of this, a victim of tragedy and of caring too much.

Nick looked down at me, fearful and heartbroken. His chest rose and fell rapidly, and without warning, he whirled away from me and bolted. Chase was immediately upon him, forcing him back towards me, restraining him despite shouts and orders to the contrary. "Let go of me, Chase, let _go_! I don't fucking care if I have to do this part!"

"This part?" I asked in a tiny voice.

"Chase, let go of me!" he all but sobbed, scratching at the Garchomp's scales with a desperation that scared me almost as much as his words.

"Nick, what are you talking about."

Chase eventually swung him around and threw him to the ground in front of me. Defeated by his own Pokemon, Nick could only lay there, propped up halfway on his elbows, head bowed almost to the point that his forehead was on the ground. "Dear fucking god, I didn't want this to turn out this way," he groaned hoarsely, digging his nails into the dirt. "I didn't want you to know. I didn't want you to know about the Rhyhorn, about Lassie, about any of it."

"I was caught up in it regardless," I replied without thinking. I still had no idea what was going on—but no, that was a lie. It was like that night in the Pastoria Center all over again. I knew what was coming. I just didn't want it to.

"I knew the entire time," he admitted, voice muffled by his sleeve. He still refused to look up at me. "I knew what would happen, but I was too arrogant to think, even for a moment, that I would fall into it. But goddamn it, it was supposed to be _you_!" With that, he looked up at me, tears leaving tracks in the dirt on his cheeks. He shut his eyes and shook his head, face going back down to the ground, pulling his hood savagely over his head.

"What do you mean, Nick?" I meant to be soothing and calming, but instead I sounded like a frightened Buneary.

"They said I was going to lose my way when I lost—I thought it meant _you_. I stuck with you to try to avert it, but instead, it w-was Matthew." He broke off with a moan. "M-Matthew died and it was supposed to be _you_. I could've handled you, I was there and ready to fight it every step of the way. But no—I had to screw it up every step of the way. Lassie and Kamala and m-my brother…"

I didn't know how to handle this. I sunk to my knees in front of him, struggling to stay conscious of the situation. Nick knew and had been fighting it as much as I had been. We had been fighting for each other, fighting _against_ each other, and we had both messed up. It was supposed to be _me_ who died and turned him into a monster.

"_Don't die_," the ghosts had told me so long ago. They had been working from my side to try to stop it as much as Lassie and Kamala had been on Nick's. That was why, even when he was such a doting older brother, he stuck with me instead of going back to Matthew. He had been fighting to stop the prophecy as much as I had.

I buried my face in my hands and willed the tears to come. I needed a reaction to this. I couldn't afford to shut down; I had to react and do something instead of that. Anything. So I started talking, talking so I wouldn't have to let this sink in any further. "I've fallen as much as you. I've killed in the name of my team, in the name of elitism. I tried to become a dark Pokemon and I couldn't stop The Tournament. I let hundreds die in that burning building. I didn't believe Hanna at first because I couldn't believe it of you. I didn't want to believe any of this and ignored it in favor of being naïve and stupid. I wanted to believe in you."

"We're idiots," Nick said simply.

"We've ruined our own lives as well as Sinnoh," I added tonelessly.

"They took my Pokemon away from me, they tried to," he said, harsh this time, the anger back. "They're trying to do it to other trainers. They're breaking up teams in my name and I could have _stopped _this."

"We're both idiots."

-.-.-

Vaikuntha looked up suddenly, smiling brightly when he recognized me. The smile faltered when he took in the figure beside me, however. "Brother, what is… Who is that beside you?" he asked cautiously, always endeavoring to think the best of people.

"Vai, I need a favor," I said instead of answering his question. As if he needed an answer; I wasn't kind enough to lie to him.

"…What is it?" He looked back at me, hair falling into his eyes, smile completely gone.

"Keep them away from us."

-.-.-

"If we had been honest with each other, we could have avoided all of this."

"Honesty is always the best policy."

"If I hadn't become a trainer…"

"If I hadn't, if I hadn't encouraged Matt to…"

Nick and I sat, back to back, waiting for the trainers below us to fall asleep. Konstantin was perched between my legs, red eye bright in the night. He didn't talk much these days. Chase was curled up in another tree, his dark skin allowing him to blend in just as much as we did.

And after we were sure they were asleep, we climbed down and struck. It was exhausting, taxing work, both on the body and the mind. We had given up on our hearts. Our Pokemon had all but given up on us, too. That hurt more than the work we were doing, if we were being honest with ourselves. Which we never were.

We were cutting out the cancer in Sinnoh, one by one. Trainers who abused Pokemon. Trainers who didn't respect Pokemon. Trainers who abused other trainers, who didn't respect the sanctity of training. We ignored the fact that we had caused it in the first place, at least on this scale. We could only rectify it at this point, sacrificing ourselves to the public and karma. It was probably the best thing I'd ever done with my life.

Nick dispatched the female trainer, even as she woke up and screamed—in fear or joy, I honestly couldn't distinguish it anymore—and I took out her male traveling companion with a shovel to the back of the head. He didn't get back up. We started breaking pokeballs and great balls and ultra balls, releasing the Pokemon, and taking care of them if needed. It usually was. Konstantin Shadow Snuck me out of the roundhouse kick of a Blaziken, and I pulled out two pokeballs out of my pocket. None of my Pokemon said anything about the work they were forced to do. They didn't have to. It almost would've been easier if they'd called me out on it.

Chase tore apart most of them single-handedly, but Des and Ike took care of the ones who ran from him and tried to target me. Then, we were left with a Pidgeotto with a broken wing, screaming bloody murder at us, hissing and squawking and kicking viciously every time Ike or Chase circled a little too close. I turned my back on it and ordered, "Des. Kill it."

We were only fixing what we had broken, after all.


	5. A Bad A Time As Any

"Glistening in the cold sweat of guilt  
>I've watched you slowly winding down for years<br>You can't keep on like this  
>Now's a bad a time as any..."<br>-_Speeding Cars_ by Imogen Heap

After everything that happened, I had enough.

It was as simple as that. For years, I made excuses, I ran, I rationalized, I wavered, I teetered, I ignored. And then, I just had _enough_.

I knew all along that it wouldn't be that hard to find Nick. I knew him better than most anyone else still alive. His Pokemon were on the look out for me at all times, and all I had to do was call any number of them out on it. I had Serling's whistle memorized, Who kept tabs on me, and I knew where Vasudeva Teleported to get away. I simply left Sunyshore one day and never returned. I didn't care that I was a Gym leader, not after the followers or Vaporeon or death. I couldn't handle it and I could only handle Nick.

It was as if it was planned. Or maybe he was ready. Maybe he was desperate. Maybe he was lonely, angry, needy, crazy. Maybe he just wanted the last sliver of his previous life back.

I walked out into the clearing, arms spread wide, Pokemon all in their balls. Chase landed lightly on the ground and offered a growl. "I know," I replied. "I'm tired of this, too."

Nick was holed up in a cave guarded by sandstorms in the north. No one would have ever found him. No one would've, anyway, but me. I had known it all along; for all of his strength and fame and skill, it would be the stupid, luckless little kid with a handful of Pokemon to his name who reminded him so strongly of his brother.

He was seated near the back of the cave, one leg up, the other out in front of him. His hood was down. I walked over to him and looked down at what had become of Nick Sayre. "Hey," he offered.

"Hey," I replied neutrally. He could play nice all he wanted. I wasn't going to buy any of it. Not after everything.

"I'm sorry about Sunyshore."

"Was it really all to get me out?"

"No."

"Oh."

I looked away, lost and unsure. I knew what I had to do, but I didn't knew how to. I didn't want to nor did I dread it; it was just something I had to do. Just like killing followers in my Gym, just like saving trainers, just like burning down the television station with Vaporeon and others still inside. Just like going to Hanna's funeral and listening to Cossette sob herself into exhaustion over the loss of her Pokemon and visiting Jude in the hospital. Just like watching Lola bleed out on television as payback for taking back the Gym.

"Nick I'm done with this."

"Are you seeing me now as a Gym leader?" he asked, the first hint of anger seeping into his voice.

"No, I quit it. It's stupid and not for me. I could never handle it," I replied, just as angrily. Then, in a small voice, I added, "I don't know why they thought I could."

He turned from me, mouth twisted in a frown, and let his bangs hide his eyes. He didn't say anything.

"I'm tired of pretending that you're redeemable and that _I_ am," I stated baldly.

He turned back to me, golden eyes narrowed.

"I've fallen just as far as you, but the public loves me. I hate it and it makes me feel sick. I should be hiding and screaming myself hoarse at the Champion too."

"You're stronger than I am," he hissed.

I couldn't help but chuckle, shaking my head. "I've always thought I was weaker. I've never had the conviction to do much of anything aside from what society asked everyone to do. I'm tired of it. So I'm doing something for myself."

"And that's me?"

I knelt down beside him. "Yeah, I guess so. But... more than that, I wanted to say a couple things."

"Well aren't you talkative," he deadpanned. He moved his leg so they were both out in front of him; he was telling me he wasn't going to run.

"It's not that. Nick, you killed trained Pokemon of a celebrity, or politician, or whatever we're supposed to be now. But... it's okay."

He looked at me, really _looked_ at me, for the first time. His eyes were wide and had bags under them, his hair was long and unruly, and his scowl turned into something far more restrained. "What?"

"It's _okay_. You had cause. You had power. You did something for yourself and you righted a wrong in your world," I told him.

Nick started blinking, both of us pretending that he wasn't blinking back tears. "You... think it was _okay_?" he whispered roughly. I couldn't decide whether he sounded shocked or desperate.

"I would've done the same thing. Any of us would. The public just likes to think it's too noble, but it's not. They're worse than you because they would've run from it," I sighed.

Nick latched onto me, wrapping his arms around me, and for a brief moment, the surprise was mine. I should've remembered that he was physical, but there was a lot I had forgotten about my friend. Like the fact that he _was _my friend. And that I had to do what I could for him. "...Thank you," he said at last. His voice wasn't shaking, although it was carefully measured. He tightened his grip and I couldn't help but wince at the force. "All this time, no one's ever validated it, only hated me for it."

"I didn't," I replied, wrapping one arm around his waist in return, the other going down to my pocket.

"All this time?"

"All this time." I took out the knife I'd brought along. After the Gym siege, I'd taken to arming myself. I only pretended it was for anything else.

"I know what you're doing," he said suddenly, voice low but amused. I froze, grip tight on the knife. It was still in its sheath and I had only just gotten it out. I couldn't say anything about it, however. There wasn't anything I could say. "...This was all just a ploy?"

"No," I whispered, wishing I could see his face to try to read it. I was caught and couldn't even run. "I just..." There were no words for this. We both knew it.

"...I see." I couldn't understand why he wasn't having me eaten alive by Chase right then. "It's okay."

His words struck home immediately.

He _knew_ what this was and he knew how hard it was on me. He knew this and he was giving me the reassurance I needed. I had supported him and now he was doing the same for me. I just wished he _hadn't_. That made this so much harder. Nick exhaled and leaned his head against mine, relaxing his grip a fraction on me. "I wish you hadn't had to go down this road."

I didn't know which road he was referring to. Watching him become a monster? Being blamed for it? Having to take on the responsibility of ending it? "...I wish you hadn't had to, either," I replied, honestly. It was all I could offer him.

"It's okay, then. For both of us," Nick said with a laugh, a genuine laugh. "It's okay for everyone. The murderers and the abusers and the dead."

"It's okay for all of us."

"...Thank you." He let go of me and held me out at arm's length. He didn't look down at the knife. Nick grinned and for a moment, he was my best friend again. And just that.

In all of the years after his tragedy, after losing Matthew, after stooping to become a criminal to assuage the guilt in his heart, no one had supported him. Everyone left him and loathed him and hunted him. And then there was me.

I didn't let the tears come until after the blood cooled and my hands stopped shaking. I then collapsed onto my hands and knees beside him, sobbing for what I had just lost, for what he had just given me. I knew if I ever returned, I would be hailed as a hero for taking him down at last. I would once again be praised for the same thing he did and was condemned for. I laid my head down on the stone floor, rolling over onto my side, and pulled my knees up to my chest.

I didn't want to return. I had lost everything humane and human. I'd had enough.


	6. Misery Business

"And about forgiveness  
>We're both supposed to have exchanged<br>I'm sorry honey but I'm passing up  
>Now look this way..."<br>-_Misery Business_ by Paramore

I've noticed something in my years of training: most trainers have favorites. I guess I did, too, but it varied from day to day. I pretended that I didn't have one, but really, I did. It just wasn't constant. Not like Chase or Koel or Dana.

I needed them all, though. They helped me. Just in different ways.

Des was my strength and my grounding. And, as much as I'd hate to admit it, he was rapidly becoming my moral compass. He kept me centered and tried to keep me in line.

Carlita was my happiness. She was lighthearted and carefree, and even if it was secondhand, I enjoyed it from her. She didn't let the world get her down and she tried to do the same for me.

Ike was my dark side, my violence. I will not lie that I needed him just as much as I needed the others. Sometimes, I needed someone who would let me get away with murder and only laugh at me for it.

Konstantin was my affection. Physical, emotional, all of the above. He simply cared for me, in spite of all of the darkness in my heart. He didn't want right or wrong for me; he only wanted me to be happy with it.

Alice was my normalcy, as odd as it is to say about such a Pokemon. She's easily surprised, she's a mother, she's protective, she's emotional. She reminds me that it's okay to show emotion, even if it is negative.

Zarek was my... It's hard to say what he was. In one way, he was me overcoming my fears and weaknesses. In another, he's my victimization. He's my muteness and my naivety and my spoiled inner child.

The Pidgey triplets are my innocence and some days, I need them more than anyone else. They don't know what I've done, what I'm going to do. They just love me and I can simply raise them and turn a blind eye to everything else.

Woonu was my mistakes. My rage, my sorrow, my vengeful side. I need that side, too, but I wish I didn't.

The Electabuzz represents the fact that anything and anyone can take away any of my Pokemon at any moment. Even if I haven't seen it in years and even if it isn't mine anymore, I still think of it more often than I'd care to admit. It was my first tragedy, after all.


	7. Hoped Would Never Come

"Here's the day you hoped would never come  
>Don't feed me violins<br>Just run with me through rows of speeding cars  
>The paper cuts the cheating lovers<br>The coffee's never strong enough  
>I know you think it's more than just bad luck..."<br>-_Speeding Cars_ by Imogen Heap

I had never thought it'd be so ritualized. Something I could prepare for, physically and mentally, something that I'd have time to think about beforehand. I hated it. This was something so painfully personal and once again, the public and strangers all around me had run away with it.

"Are you going to be alright?" Vaikuntha asked quietly.

"No," I replied simply, truthfully. No use sugarcoating anything.

"Are you sure you do not want help during this?" he pleaded, taking my hand in his. I pulled it away and pushed my chair out, getting to my feet. I still had a limp; I had a feeling I always would. It was about time something scarred me as much as I felt scarred on the inside. Too many wounds and too many hurts to be healed by time alone.

And now every shot I'd ever had at healing them would be erased.

I pulled on my jacket, laced my boots, and stoically ignored Vaikuntha through it all. He and I could've been great friends, perhaps best friends. But I wouldn't let it happen. I already had a best friend, and look at how he turned out.

"Good luck," he said and offered me a small, heartbreakingly sad smile.

I scrunched my eyes shut and closed the door behind me. I forced myself to walk at a measured pace down the hallway, down the stairs, out the building. Cameras immediately set about to flashing and reporters bawled their questions. No more Nathan to keep them away but all the excuses in the world to ignore them.

Boots clomping, hands shaking, face hot, I walked over to where Volkner and Lucian were waiting for me. As per our agreement, they would only escort me to the meeting place and no farther. The last mercy they could give me was privacy. I nodded with a bravery I didn't feel and we Teleported out of Sunyshore and into the wilds of the north.

"You can do it," Volkner said quietly, placing a hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off. I knew I could do it. I just didn't want to. I wished he hadn't called for _me_.

"Good luck," Lucian added dispassionately. I nodded and they vanished again.

I wasn't alone for more than a minute before he appeared, and suddenly, I felt eleven years old again. I felt small and weak and terrified. Nick approached me, Chase beside him, Vasudeva staying back. "I knew you'd come," he announced with a wide smile.

I ducked my head low and tried to keep back the tears.

"I'm glad you did. I wasn't going to let anyone else find me," he chattered on, blissfully unaware of how this was going to go. "I've missed you and your bad luck. It was fun to deal with. How have you been?"

"Nick, just... don't."

"Don't what?" he asked, tilting his head to one side quizzically. "Hey... what's wrong?"

"Don't act like this, please. I can't handle it."

"Act like what?"

"Normal. Friendly. Like my friend again—like none of it ever happened." His smile finally faltered. I let out a broken, shaking sigh and clamped a hand over my mouth to stop any further sound from escaping. "L-Let's just get this over with."

"...That's what you want from this?" Nick asked, drooping and withdrawing into himself.

I nodded frantically. "I-I don't want to—but I want this to be over and done with. I'm so _tired_ of it all."

"...You can still come away with me." He sounded serious and _sane_ for the first time. I looked up at him, vision blurry, biting my lip. I knew this would be painful, but I hadn't thought it would be this bad. I hadn't come as far as I'd thought. Nick reached out, and he was the first person in a long time I didn't brush off. He set his hand, oh so lightly, on my hair and I rushed forward and latched onto him, burying my face in his shoulder. "It's okay."

"No, it's not! Don't you see how they're all viewing this? They expect m-me to come back with your head!" I said into his shirt, digging my nails into his hoodie. "They're thinking I'm up here to _stop_ you—!"

"Are you?" Nick asked soothingly. I tightened my grip and didn't answer him. "...You and I both know the real state of everything. You don't have to return. There's nothing left for you there." No friends, no family. Only could-have-beens.

"It's all my fault, and it's only going to get worse if I don't stop it here and now."

"It's not your fault," he said sternly, putting his arms around me. I couldn't help but relax at the fact that I wasn't simply standing there and clinging to him like a small child with his mother. "None of this was. You shouldn't have been warned about any of it, and Lassie—she and Kamala shouldn't have dragged you into any of this," he said, voice pained. "...I know I didn't turn out the best. I don't think it could have been helped, not really. I just wished I hadn't dragged you into this, too."

I wished so, too. The tears finally came and I hid them in the black fabric.

"Come away with me," Nick repeated, gently, carefully, warmly. "They'll never find us. They'll never have to know."

"My team—your team—"

"They trust their trainers more than the outside world, don't they?" I thought about the Ariados. I thought about the siege. I thought about the Abomasnow. "...Please. Don't let the world kill you, too," Nick said, voice dropping into a whisper. "Don't let them break you. Come away with me."

I sniffled and hugged him tighter. I had known my answer since getting the invitation to face him, once and for all. "...Okay, Nick."


	8. None Of Us Were Angels

"There there baby  
>It's just text book stuff<br>It's in the ABCs of growing up  
>Now now darling<br>Oh don't kill yourself  
>'Cause none of us were angels<br>And you know I love you yeah..."  
>-<em>Speeding Cars<em> by Imogen Heap

I didn't have many (_any_) expectations about Nick. I think it was the last defense mechanism I had. I didn't want to be disappointed or horrified or terrified.

I didn't expect him to break down into tears the moment he saw me, though.

And brokenly apologize for everything he had done.

I had spent a long time preparing myself, bracing myself, telling myself to remain heartless (_apart from him_). But as per usual, Nick slipped through my defenses with all too much ease. I didn't open my arms to embrace him, I didn't give him any kind words. He didn't need (_deserve_) them.

He knelt in front of me, head bowed, face hidden by his hair. Shoulders shaking with the tears, black hoodie torn and bloody and dirty, a humbled and crushed shell of a trainer (_brother_). "Please—I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I am, I _mean _it."

It took too long to force his name past my lips. My throat seemed to have closed up. "N-Nick. You..." I didn't have anything to say to him (_what could I possibly say to that man?_). I wasn't even sure what I was there for, except to sate Sinnoh's thirst for blood.

"I-I didn't mean for this to get so bad," he said breathlessly, wrapping his arms around himself. I could see his fingers digging into the black sleeves. "I didn't want... _any _of this. You have to believe me." With such a phrase, you would expect that he would raise his eyes to implore, to beg, to plead with me. He didn't.

"I... I do believe you." That part, I believed him. He still didn't raise his head. "You... I don't know. You're not as bad as you seem—as they think—as _you _think. You're just an icon for them to blame at this point."

His grip on his arms relaxed a fraction and I thought he'd finally look up at me. No such luck.

"Nick, look up at me."

"...I can't."

"Why not?"

"You... You look so much like him," he bit out in a brokenhearted voice. "Older, maybe, but you look just like Matthew. Except for your eyes." I blinked, wiping my bangs out of my eyes. I didn't know how to take that. I had been compared to Matthew before his death, but I hadn't after. I had almost forgotten we'd been compared at all (_no I didn't now could I forget such a thing_). "Your eyes are darker again," he breathed, hardly audible.

"Because I've fallen," I told him. "I'm just as bad as you are now."

There, he raised his eyes to meet mine. My eyes were darker; his were brighter. And then I could see him break down all over again (_why why was he so sad about all of this_).

"I've had to fight back against your followers," I said, trying not to sound bitter (_though I wanted to_), "and I've spilt blood in the name of revenge. I killed a Pokemon in cold blood. I pressed a gun against a man's head and pulled the trigger. And you know what? Death isn't fixing any of this."

"...That's why you're here." He didn't sound surprised; he must have known.

"No. I'm here to tell you that I forgive you. Only now can I understand why you did everything, not just the Cynthia thing. I don't care. Humans are bastards and we're tearing ourselves apart because of it."

"..._That's_ why you're here," he said wryly, only then letting some surprise (_shame_) seep into his tone.

"I'm only here to see my best friend," I replied evenly. It was a title, not a phrase, not a truth. It was simply what he was (_not_). "You asked me to come away with you." All those months ago. When Jude still spoke to me and Jacques was still alive and Hanna hadn't run away from everything.

"You want to now?" Nick asked dully.

"Yes. I'm tired of humanity. I'm finally letting go."


	9. I'll Put Us Back Together

"These broken days  
>Won't last forever<br>You know I'll put us  
>Back together..."<br>-_I Owe You A Love Song_ by Shiny Toy Guns

I wake up with tears already running down the sides of my face and my throat so constricted I can't help but sob to breathe. I sit up and press my palms against my eyes, letting out a ragged, hoarse little cry or scream or yell and no matter what it is, it's not enough to assuage even a little of the pain. The Xatu, Who, ghosts of ghosts and those who I killed. They haunt my dreams. I can't even keep straight who's actually there and who is just my conscience shrieking at me.

I've taken to sleeping with my Pokemon in their balls. I don't like waking them so often in the night; this has been happening more and more, and nothing save staying awake keeps the nightmares at bay. The Xatu has its say, Who begs me to stop Nick, the ghosts remind me of what I've done and what I've failed to do, I watch as Zoe, with blood running down her face and eyes so black I can only throw myself into them as I try to tell her it wasn't my fault, dies over and over again in Nick's arms. I would try insomnia if I wasn't so ill-suited for it. The days are too busy—the nights are, too—for me to try to skip sleep, even if it rarely comes. I have to try. I don't want to run anymore, least of all from dreams.

Lately, every time I wake up this way, she comes.

Tonight is no different. I look up through sweat-soaked hair and find her clinging to my open door, blue eyes large and worried and far too understanding for a girl her age. Cossette pads silently over, keeping her eyes on me the entire time. She places a small hand on the edge of the bed, and then sits on it, looking scared and ready to run at a moment's notice, no matter how many times we go through this. Her face is white and her eyes are tinged with red. I'm not the only one with nightmares, I know, but I can't comfort her until my own tears stop.

"You have nightmares," she says softly. "I do, too. But we dream of different things."

"Yeah," I sniffle, fully aware of what hers would entail. I'm finally clearing my vision and I'm left with a lump in my throat and the uncomfortable feeling of my shirt sticking to my back. "...C'mere."

The routine continues and she crawls over, circling me and never straying too close. I pull the blankets down—momentarily glad for the cool air on my legs—and she slides under with a contented little sigh. "Your bed is better. It is always very warm," she tells me, and I smile weakly and run my wrist over my eyes.

"You know, you don't have to wait for me to wake up," I reply softly. I know she wakes up before me most of the time, based on how she's always done crying by the time she comes to me. She nods and scoots a centimeter or two closer. We both know the routine will remain the same.

"I want... I want this to end," she whispers and scoots another centimeter over.

"It will get easier." It's all I can say. I agree, though. I want it to end, too, for it all to be over and done with, no matter how it ends. Grief fades—but that's not the problem. All emotions fade with time. The only thing that remains is melancholy. I move closer to her, closing the gap and pulling her into my arms. And suddenly she's entangled in my shirt and the sheets and I'm trying to get her hair out of my mouth.

She digs her fingers into the vest underneath the shirt, hissing through her teeth. "Why are you still wearing this?" Guilt settles at the bottom of my stomach, and I can't bring myself to answer her. She knows why. "You have to be strong, more strong, than this, please. I do not want to see you like this."

"I don't want to see you like this, either. I'm so sorry..."

"I am fine," she lied plainly, sighing, her breath tickling my neck. If she was fine, then I was fine, too. She fell asleep once more in my arms and I eventually drifted off as well. It didn't keep the nightmares away, but it gave me the courage to stare down the Xatu and Who and keep them from waking her through me. I didn't care about myself, but I wasn't going to make Cossette lose any more sleep than she had to when she had already lost so much. It was a small thing, but it represented so much.

"You must care a lot about her," the Xatu, wearing Nick's face again, says with a cheeky grin. "You aren't running away or having your ghost eavesdrop."

"Say what you will. Just leave her alone."

"If I could get into her head..."

"I'd string you up and roast you alive," I tell it icily. The Xatu laughs and it sounds nothing like Nick. Then Who appears and they bicker once more, leaving me alone to mope in my own dreamscape, wishing I could sleep comfortably once more. In the books, whenever you sleep next to someone you care about, it chases the bad dreams away, after all.

When I wake up again with stinging eyes, I'm hugging Cossette so closely to my chest I'm amazed I hadn't suffocated her or, at the very least, woken her. But I haven't, and that makes me smile. She's still sleeping peacefully, blonde hair fanned out behind her, body impossibly small and warm and fragile. I release my hold, only a little, and settle back in. She's still sleeping. At least I'm good for something.


	10. Train Wreck

"Train wreck that I am  
>And I am what I am what I am what I am<br>A train wreck that I am  
>And I am what I am what I am what I am<br>A train wreck..."  
>-<em>Colorado Sunrise<em> by 3oh!3

Psychics probing around in my mind. People and Pokemon dead all around me. Getting blamed for everything.

Screaming matches with my Pokemon as they physically fought me to get the bulletproof vest off of me. Sobbing together with Cossette when Jacques finally woke up. Trying to keep up appearances only for Arianna to tear them all down for me. Attending more funerals. Facing down more followers. Ignoring Who and trying to get the Xatu away. Dealing with Konstantin and Ike. Trying to take care of Zarek and the Pidgey chicks. Trying to keep things from breaking into even tinier pieces.

One day, I couldn't keep them from breaking into those tiny, itty bitty pieces. And everything fell apart.

I dropped everything I'd been doing and ran out of the Gym. I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't take anything with me, not Pokemon or person or supply or money. I simply ran for it. I had to get away from them all, I had to try to do... something. I didn't know. I never knew.

It was easy to lose Konstantin, harder to lose Ike. Once I was free, however, the psychics came. The Xatu all but tackled me manically, but Who threw it back with a Psychic and tried to pull me towards him. Jacques made a cursory attempt at getting in between, but his powers were crippled and he didn't know what the situation was. I didn't blame him. I hadn't stopped Cossette's tragedy; he shouldn't have to stop mine.

After getting caught in the middle of a Teleport tug-of-war, I threw my support to Who with an all but sobbed, "Take me to Nick!"

And then it was quiet. I was in a cave—no, not a cave. Some area lit with a soft, firelight glow. It made everything orange and red and blurred. Chase offered a growl as I peeled myself away from the Hypno and sprinted towards the only humanoid figure amongst the menagerie. He half-turned by the time I reached him and started tearing at his hood and hair and shirt and anything I could reach. His Pokemon, obviously not expecting our reunion to turn so violent so fast, were slow to restrain me.

"Fix it!" I shrieked at him, fighting tooth and nail against Chase's wings to get back at Nick. My ex best friend stared at me, mouth slack and blood running down his jaw from a scratch, at a loss for what to say or do. "Fix it, Nick! Fix what you've done to Sinnoh—to me! Fix it fix it fix it _fix it_!"

"I can't."

He never could. I couldn't. The question was who could.


	11. The Prince of Sinnoh

"This is my home  
>With my father, mother, brother<br>Oh so noble, oh so strong  
>Now I am home<br>Here among my trappings and belongings  
>I belong<br>And if anybody doubts it  
>They couldn't be more wrong..."<br>-_All I Ever Wanted_ from The Prince of Egypt

Nick Sayre walked through the front door, dropped his charred backpack in the hallway, and stood in the entryway to the kitchen.

His father dropped the plate he'd been holding.

"I'm home," Nick announced hollowly.

For what seemed like an eternity, there was nothing. No sound, no response. No movement, no grateful hugs. Nothing but the shock and the staring and the indecipherable expression. Nick had expected—well, nothing less. After everything that had happened, he deserved nothing less but than to be turned away. He'd be fine with it and head to Oreburgh to accept his fate with no further argument or protest.

Nick would have confessed to anything, explained everything, would have said _something_ himself, but his throat had closed up. It was all finally coming home (him too), and he wasn't sure how much longer he could stay there, standing there, waiting there. His heart couldn't take much more static.

His father took a jerky step forward. Nick almost jumped from the suddenness of it—but that started it. He wasn't sure who started moving first, but soon enough, his father had his arms around him and he had his arms around his father and they may have been tears and definitely words but just to hear each other's voices after so long.

It wasn't long before his mother came downstairs, and of course, her reaction was much more prompt than his father's. She had always been quicker to give her boys hugs, anyway. She threw herself at the both of them.

It wasn't grand or overly special. It was just him coming home. For the last time.

He told them everything. Apologized profusely. Held back tears the entire time. They didn't say much—at least not judgmentally—but listened, and that was enough for him. It didn't take nearly long enough, though, and then, he was left with all of this extra awkward time before he'd give himself up. The police were going to be called at four, and it was hardly two-thirty. It wasn't a mercy.

Nick considered going early, changing the plan. He only meant this to be a last goodbye before prison or execution. He wasn't sure he could handle that end result if he got attached to them all over again... But then, his father suggested something that halted the thought process.

He didn't suggest seeing Matthew's room or his pokémon. He didn't suggest staying or running away or calling the police right away.

He only said, "There's a _Twilight Zone_ marathon on."

So Nick curled up on the couch with his parents on either side of him. It was exactly like when they were younger, when they were still a family, when Matthew was still alive. He'd come home from journeying and they would watch old sci-fi reruns and marathons together. Fargo would lay out across their laps and sleep, and Chase would always get the back of the couch near his trainer's neck. They were really the only two pokémon his parents had ever allowed inside for any amount of time, and even then, only when they had been little.

It had been so long since they had done this.

And soon enough, Rod Serling's face and narration got harder and harder to take in. His sight got blurrier and wetter, his breath started to catch, his hands started to shake in his lap. The twists, so aged, could hardly penetrate the fog of his mind. Dread was starting to set in, pushing out the calmness he'd felt as he'd walked in. Not his parents or his tradition or his nerdiness could keep it at bay.

Until his mother idly remarked, "I've always wanted to take my hand to the backside of that boy." The infamous episode with its infamous brat continued on in spite of her comment, but Nick couldn't help it; he burst out laughing.

The tension and stress were still there, but now they had an outlet. He let himself fall onto his mother's shoulder, still chuckling weakly, tears finally falling down his cheeks. If only Matthew had still been there, if only. Then they could have done this whenever he came back and even if his pokémon were too big, at least his family would still be together. They could have gone on forever like that, with old science fiction and the lights dimmed and the couch too small to hold them all but them trying anyway.

Nick shut his eyes and felt the tears start to dry. He had one more episode before his time was up, and now, he wanted all the time in the world with them. But any time he could get was a gift. This already was.

"Can I leave my remaining team here? I'm sure they'll come for them eventually, but..." Eyes still closed, he spoke softly enough—he was hoping to be drown out by the television. No such luck.

"Of course."

All the permission and approval and catharsis he ever needed. One last thing to get off his chest, though, one last mistake to admit to. Another tear leaked out from under his eyelid. He wasn't strong enough to stop it. "Chase is dead." His voice didn't shake. His heart did instead.

Nothing could be perfect anymore. Not even this. Matthew and Chase. All he'd ever wanted, the only ones he had wanted to protect. He'd failed.

The police came with sirens and guns and shouts and snarls. They were twenty minutes in to the next episode. Nick didn't move as they burst through the door, although his mother jumped. No one said anything as he was hauled to his feet and lead out. Nick only tried to watch TV as long as he could; he could not look at his parents any longer.

As they finally half-dragged him out into the hallway, the librarian on the television announced, "Let's see how an official of the State dies, Mr. Chancellor."

Nick burst out laughing once more, this time slightly more composed. No more tears, at any rate. The cop on his right started at the sound, but before anyone could ask the criminal, he said, "I wish I had used that one on Cynthia."


	12. Always

"And I'll miss your laugh, your smile  
>I'll admit I'm wrong if you'd tell me<br>I'm so sick of fights, I hate them  
>Let's start this again for real..."<br>-_Always_ by Blink 182

Hanna draped her legs across the arm of the chair. She didn't know when he'd be back, just that it would be that night.

Shortest skirt she had. Lowest tank top. Most flattering bra. Laciest underwear. Makeup and hair and bedroom eyes. She was ready for this. She could do this. It was just another boy, she told herself, just another package of hormones to play with. Because she did this all the time, right? She could, if she wanted to, she told herself. Boys said she was pretty, so she may as well use it.

She feared that he wouldn't come back to her if she didn't.

She nearly dozed off by the time she heard the lock click. She straightened, blinking, and ran her fingers over her hair to smooth it out. No bedhead, not yet, she still had to look stunning. Hanna took a deep breath, thrusting her chest up, and arched her back as best she could. She knew how to work it. It helped that she knew what he liked.

His silhouette paused in the doorway. She didn't know if that was a good or bad sign. Should she wait for him to say something? Speak up first? Set the mood? Hanna wasn't used to being indecisive—the past couple nights had killed her.

_I can do this_.

She lolled her head against one shoulder, letting her other arm drape suggestively across her thigh. "Hello, sweetie. Long time, no see."

"...What are you doing here?" Jude asked. She couldn't read his voice, and since he was still backlit, his expression was lost to her as well. But she couldn't be nervous, not now.

"A little presumptuous of me, but I let myself in." She pretended to examine her nails. "I just wanted to... swing by, have a nice little chat."

He finally came in and shut the door behind him, flicking on another lamp. The first thing she noticed was that he looked tired. The second was that his hair was down.

She didn't let the mild surprise stop her. The ball was in her court, and she was going to press her advantage while she still had it. "It's been awhile, hasn't it? A little too long... I've missed you." Her throat threatened to close up, but with a bit of rapid blinking and a swallow, she recovered. It hadn't come out as the sultry purr she had intended, but at least her voice hadn't broken altogether.

"Is that why you're here?" Jude asked coolly, sliding off his jacket and tossing it in the general direction of the coat closet. He glanced at the couch, but remained standing.

"That, among other reasons," Hanna said with a pretty smile.

Jude let out a dry chuckle. "This farce of yours would work a little better if I knew what you were offering, love." He peeled off his work gloves and tossed them onto the desk, then knelt down to unlace his boots.

Indignant, she sat up a little straighter in the chair. And then, never missing an opportunity, she swung her legs around and crossed them, knowing full well he had looked up at that moment. "I'm offering you _me_. What else does it look like?" Not the most tactful of questions, but at least it was forward.

"It looks like you're trying to make me like you again," he said simply.

Hanna bit her lip to hide her frown. That implied... that he didn't like her anymore. Had she come here for a lost cause? Was it really all for naught? But no—she wasn't going down without a fight, at least. "You're saying you haven't missed me at all?"

He paused, fingers tangled in the laces. "...Every day," he said softly, after a long pause. But then, with a small shake of his head, he tugged off his boots looked up at her. His emerald eyes, usually so dashing, were cold. "But I am not going to let you play with me like some sort of toy. What _exactly_ are you offering me, Hanna?"

She tugged at her skirt and fought to maintain eye contact. She wasn't going to be cowed. "I... Things have happened."

"So I've heard. From numerous sources."

"I didn't want to... break up with you then. I know it sounds shallow and mean, but now that everything's over... I was hoping for a second chance." That was the meekest she had ever sounded in her _life_. She hated it. She gave him all of four milliseconds to reply, before her pride took back over. She stood up and tugged her skirt back down to cover what little it did. "But it looks like that was my mistake. Another mistake, I guess. Looks like you're not interested, either way."

She strode past him to the door, heart already breaking over losing out to her stubbornness, but he rescued it by catching her wrist. He spun her around and pinned her against the wall, eyes still hard. "Don't come in here and string me along without telling me what you're _really_ here for. I'm not a fool, and I'm not going to let you do that. It would hurt too much." His voice softened and he placed a hand against her cheek.

She flinched out of his touch, surprising him. She winced and looked away. She had a bruise there, and after so painstakingly covering it with makeup... She hadn't wanted to explain more than she had to. Stupid injuries would only make everything worse.

"What happened?" Jude asked in concern.

"Nothing."

"...Don't lie to me. Are you okay?"

"I'm _fine_," she grumbled, embarrassed. After that crazy night, now it was just an _embarrassment_ compared to him. That was great. "I just... got into a bit of a fight. Someone hit me."

"Who." His voice was dangerous, threatening. And as cute as it was to get him all up in arms to protect her, she wasn't about to go send him against her best friend.

"It doesn't matter," she said faintly, resisting the urge to chuckle. The last thing that poor boy needed was another reason for Jude to hate him. She looked up at him through her lashes, and tried to salvage the situation. "I've been a _bad_ girl, Jude. I think I need some punishment."

"That's another thing. Why do you come in here acting like some sort of seductress?" He backed away from her, keeping a safe distance. She didn't take it as an advancement in her plan. He crossed his arms, defensively, and refused to look her in the eye. She wanted to hit him; he was so completely infuriating. "It'd be one thing if that had been a staple of our relationship before, but... Why now?"

"To get your attention," she sighed.

"Well, it accomplished that. Now what?" he challenged, a faint smirk quirking the corners of his mouth up.

Hanna fought back a blush and smiled self-consciously instead. "Um, well, if you want..."

"I am not going to pressure you for sex," Jude said, once again closing the gap between them. He pressed his lips against her hairline, and she quickly wrapped her arms around his waist, making sure she wasn't letting go ever again. "This just seems like a very desperate plan. You're normally not for those."

"Oh, if only you knew," she muttered under her breath, but he caught it. He tilted her chin up and she rapidly realized her mistake. She could come clean, about everything (well, almost everything), or lie and dig herself in deeper. She didn't know which was the more dangerous choice.

He leaned in, giving her a soft, sweet kiss on the lips. She tried to deepen it, but he pulled away with a sharp look. "What are we, Hanna? Is this an invitation back?"

"I thought that much was obvious."

"Then why won't you tell me what happened?"

"You'll hate me for it," she said honestly, smiling without humor.

"I could never hate you," Jude sighed and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against his chest. "I just wish you would trust me, is all."

"I _do_ trust you—"

"Then, little miss Hanna, why won't you tell me what's happened to you?"

Hanna groaned and buried her face in his shirt, resisting the urge to bite him. So frustrating. "...Molly didn't go to daddy's company, she's mine now."

"What?"

"And I used her to try to kill Nick." Simplest version of the story, but still sticking to honesty. That wasn't so bad. She braced herself for the inevitable argument; Jude was not one to take things lightly. He was a judger, and a harsh one at that.

Instead, he said, "Okay."

Her head snapped back so fast she nearly caught his chin. "What?"

"He hurt you. In a way I can't even begin to imagine, and no one did anything to help you. Sometimes, revenge is justified," Jude told her, tightening his hug. Hanna wondered if he would stick to that rationale if she knew the rest of what happened in Stark Mountain.

"People are suddenly so forgiving," she remarked with wry amusement.

"I'd always forgive you. You're a pretty level-headed girl, so if you thought you should go down that dark road... I'm just sorry I couldn't help more."

"You did sort of give me Molly."

"Is she... alright?" he asked hesitantly, looking worried.

"She got a little hurt, but she'll be fine," she reassured him at once.

He let out a massive sigh of relief and squeezed her. "Oh, thank you lord. She had been a favorite of mine. I'm sort of glad she's ended up with you now... But no more throwing her against League-grade teams, okay?"

"Alright." They stood like that, arms around each other, for what felt like forever. It was just comforting to be able to hug someone again. When the desire to doze kicked back in, however, Hanna pulled away. She stifled a yawn and rubbed at her eyes, undoubtedly ruining her makeup but not caring as much as if she would've earlier. "Sorry, it's just been a bad couple of days. Long."

"Want to stay over?" he asked.

She looked up at him, trying to judge the situation. She knew him better than to think he was after only one thing, but she _was_ dolled up like some sort of actress in an unsavory film. (Only classier. She wasn't that trashy.) "...Can I borrow some sweatpants and a shirt?"

"I thought you hated sweatpants," he asked curiously, raising an eyebrow.

"You're crazy if you think I'm going to sleep in this skirt," Hanna told him primly.

"You could just, you know, not wear it," he suggested innocently.

She grinned. "Fine." His jaw fell open out of shock. "But when you wake up with the worst case of blue balls you've had in your life, and you touch me, I will _beat you_." Jude looked a little skeptical at her threat, but Hanna was quick to add, "I beat Nick Sayre in a fistfight. You don't want to know how."

"Duly noted," he said with a cringe. "Sweatpants it is."

He led her into the bedroom, tossing her a shirt and some pants, but when he turned to leave, she caught him in another hug. He didn't question it. "...I missed you. Really."

"I missed you too, love."

"Don't leave me. I won't leave you ever again."

"Then I won't, either."

She fell asleep, using his arm as a pillow, legs tangled together. And for the first time in a long while, Hanna felt okay with the world around her. Her world. Jude was finally back in it.


	13. All Over

"Will I cry when it's all over?"  
>-<em>be Human<em> by Scott Matthew

I was visiting Nick's grave when it happened.

So many years had passed, but the tradition remained. Visit graves, visit on birthdays, hide from the world. Granted, not as much lately—I guess growing up did that to you—but I still wasn't as active in the public's eye as past Champions had been. The media quieted down about it, and trainers accepted it. It was just another facet of the new Sinnoh I was slowly, so very slowly, helping to shape.

My life had been filled with many blessings. I had almost gotten used to the glaring lack of bad luck in my life.

But as if karma had been saving up just for me, soon I got enough to last a lifetime.

"They're all growing like weeds, of course. And it's been crazy as always," I told the headstone in front of me, picking at the dried mud on my boots. These visits had long since lost most of their sadness, instead a gentle reminder now. Time did heal wounds, it would seem. "Oh, I guess Gwendolyn's first birthday is coming up. That girl is going to end up worse than Hanna at this rate. I think it has a princess theme, but why they'd give a theme to a one-year-old's birthday party is beyond me..."

Behind me, I heard a thump. That wasn't the thing that grabbed my attention—that would be Carlita shrieking bloody murder. I was on my feet and running in their direction, Alice swooping down to investigate as well, before my mind could process what I was seeing.

Des had collapsed. His eyes were screwed shut, flames licking at the edges of his mouth. His breathing was shallow and labored, I could tell already. "Des? Des!" I tried to lift him back to his feet, scratching behind his ears, pulling on them, trying to get him to open his eyes again. His fur was scorching, and when I dug my fingers into it to feel his skin, I actually burned myself. I didn't know if fire Pokémon could run a fever, but this sure seemed like it.

Carlita, shrieking because he'd nearly set Celia on fire, shoved the Roselia in Konstantin's arms and ran back to us, prancing from foot to foot anxiously. "_What's wrong with him?_"

"I—I don't know," I said, still trying to rouse him. "Did anyone see what happened?"

"_I saw from the air. He just fell over. Nearly landed on Carlita and Celia_," Alice remarked, fluttering over us. She batted a curious Vi away with a hiss. "_He's sick! Stay back, be careful!_"

"He's sick?" I repeated, still running my hands over his face and fur, ignoring the burns. "Des, come on. Wake up..."

"_What else could he be?_" Konstantin asked quietly.

-.-.-

We rushed him to the Oreburgh hospital. It was hardly any time at all before Vai found us, naturally. I didn't have the patience for the media—it was sort of big news when the Champion's starter was in the emergency room, it seemed—but he kept them at bay with an unusual sternness.

"Brother, are you alright?" he asked gently, standing guard by the door.

I was a wreck by that point. Wringing my hands, unable to help pacing, hardly aware of the world around me. "I don't know what's wrong with him. He just... fell over. He hasn't woken up." Temporarily snapping out of it as I noticed him, I couldn't help but say, "You seem to have things under control. Got here pretty fast."

"When my family is in danger, I must rush to help. That, and I have been keeping an eye on you in what you believe are your clandestine visits to Oreburgh every year," he replied with an arched eyebrow. I had been very neglectful on visiting him when I stopped by Nick's grave, and I did feel bad for it. It was just that current circumstances trumped that guilt. "Come, sit down."

"I can't sit right now, Vai," I said and turned on my heel, striding back across the room. "He's... Damn it. Vai, _you_ weren't sitting still when Sarika was in danger."

He tensed up, the ghost of a frown at his mouth, but said, "This is true."

"I'm sorry, I'm just—he's always been so sturdy. He's never had more than a cough before. He's taken beatings in battles, but he's just so... He's my rock, Vai. I'm going to go crazy waiting out here if a doctor doesn't come out and tell me what's going on!" Despite the perfect cue and raised voice, no convenient doctor burst through the doors to tell me Des was fine and it was only a fever or the flu or something.

I felt the first pang of _fear _then.

"Please, calm down. You will do him no good, when he wakes up, if he awakes to find you have worried yourself into a heart attack." Vaikuntha sat down in one of the chairs and patted the one next to him. I dragged myself over and sat down as well, but I couldn't keep still there, either. I chewed on my lip, I crossed and uncrossed my legs, I tapped my feet, I pulled at my shirt.

It wasn't an easy hour wait.

Vai was seriously worried that I would need to be sedated by the time the doctor came out. I nearly tackled the poor woman. "What's wrong with him? Is he going to be okay? Is he awake?"

She delicately plucked me off of her and adjusted her glasses. "I am afraid to have to inform you of this..." My heart sank. "He is not doing well at this time. We're doing everything we can, naturally, and we're lucky this is a fairly common occurrence in fire Pokémon."

"But what is wrong with him?" Vaikuntha asked gently as I flailed wordlessly at that very same question. He put an arm around me, more to hold me still than to comfort me. Well, knowing him, it was probably equal amounts—but I wasn't one to be comforted right then.

"Over years and years of use of fire attacks, it can wear on the body. The throat and lungs particularly suffer. Evolution helps to heal this, so it is mostly long-lived Pokémon with a two-stage evolutionary line that this affects. Tell me, did your Camerupt evolve early?"

"I... I guess. It was a little over a year after I got him," I mumbled, still numbed by the information I'd been handed. I had no idea breathing fire could have that sort of an effect. It was worse than Carlita or Ike; they had been outside forces. This had come from within. It almost sounded like it was inevitable.

"You don't know how old he was when you got him?" the doctor asked.

"Um... No, not really. I don't think he was that old, though."

"It does sound like he evolved fairly young, then. In itself, this problem isn't that serious, although we rarely see such advanced cases as to actually force the Pokémon to collapse. Had he exhibited any symptoms, such as fatigue, overuse or less use of fire attacks, or difficulty breathing?"

"No. I mean, I didn't notice anything... He's always been kind of slow, so he could have been tired... I don't know," I told her, fear building. Des had been sick for awhile? He could have been having trouble under my nose and I hadn't even _noticed_. "Doctor, is he going to be okay?"

The pause was very telling. Vai's grip on my arm tightened.

"...As I mentioned, this problem isn't incredibly serious. Fatigue, some dehydration, and some burning of the throat. These are fairly easily fixed with liquids and rest. But, I'm afraid I have to tell you that that is not all that is wrong. That is the cause." The woman pressed her lips together, not quite a frown, but something painful instead. "His fire sac has been overtaxed. This does not mean he has been using it too little or too much, so don't jump to that conclusion."

Just as I had been ready to leap. "What does it mean then?" I asked, but my voice sounded far away. This had to be a nightmare. Des had never been sick or this hurt before.

"There is a small chance of this happening with any fire Pokémon. It probably stems from a small genetic defect or bad breeding. The protective membrane around it has been weakened, to the point where much of the heat has been escaping, into his body. Camerupt already have high body temperatures, and can stand even higher temperatures inside and outside of their body, but it was too constant and too high for his body to adapt or adjust. It had been damaging his other organs and muscle."

I hardly heard her as she continued explaining, gently and sympathetically, what was going on in my starter's body. I was elsewhere, asleep in my room, or knocked out cold from another bad fight, surely. It just wasn't happening to Des. Not _my_ Pedestal.

"We can repair the weakened membrane around the fire sac, as well as the damage to his throat. Most of his major organs are unharmed, since he is a large Pokémon and they weren't forced into that close of contact with the sac. Unfortunately... One lung has been severely damaged. We are trying to save it, but it's likely it will have to be removed. His heart, too, suffered greatly, and we believe he may have to have a transplant."

The last bit penetrated the fog of my mind just enough to give me the lovely mental image of them cutting my Camerupt's heart out.

The ground promptly rushed up to meet me.

-.-.-

Des had been rehydrated and fixed of what they could before they prepped him for surgery. A day and a half had passed. I stayed at his bedside the entire time, for as long as they'd let me—well, which _was _the entire time, since I didn't hesitate on pulling the 'I am the Champion' card. Also under the list of perks I could owe to that card was the fact that they had already found a heart that they said should work.

I had been warned on the dangers of this surgery. They told me Des had been, too. There were risks, major risks, and the doctors were not entirely optimistic.

I hadn't had the courage to tell anyone else about that; Vai, the eternal saint, had took the responsibility for himself. He explained it patiently to my team, he had called up Hanna and Cossette and others, and had closed down the Gym so he could stay with me.

But just for now, just in this room, it was the two of us.

"How are you feeling?" I choked out, my fingers deep in his shaggy fur.

"_Fine, of course_," he said, voice hoarse. "_The medicine they have been feeding me tastes terrible_."

"They have to. They're lowering your fire thing's temperature—"

"_I know, Trainer. But it tastes terrible_." He rolled over awkwardly and licked the top of my head. His breath smelled like peppermint. "_You're worried, aren't you?_"

"Of course I am, Des. You know me better than that," I scoffed, fingers tightening. I looked down at his belly. "...They're gonna shave you for this surgery. You're gonna be half bald."

"_Don't remind me_," he groaned and flopped back down with a grunt. I rubbed his belly apologetically. "_...I evolved early, yes. I evolved to rescue Isabella. I don't regret it, Trainer_."

"I know you don't," I whispered, moving my hand up to scratch behind his ears like he liked so much. He rumbled in contentment.

"_Don't worry about me, Trainer_." I nodded, blinking back tears.

"Y-You'll be fine. There's perks to being the Champion's teammate, you know. You'll get the best heart ever, and they'll cover up your fire thing, and your throat will heal right up, they told me... You'll be fine, Des," I said, voice cracking and betraying me. He nodded. I buried my face in his shoulder's fur, struggling to hold back the tears. I hadn't cried since Oonu's funeral. Well, actually, I had cried when Hanna dragged me into the delivery room and subsequently broke my hand, but these tears now were nothing but sorrow. There was nothing bittersweet about them; just the sadness from my heart.

It seemed like all too soon when they ushered me out and wheeled him down the hall, away from me, for surgery. I watched him leave me.

Out in the waiting room, I had friends and family to console me, but really, I was inconsolable until I heard Des was out of surgery and fine again. Hanna distracted me with a forced meal and her daughter, and my mom hardly let go of me. Until she was pushed out of the way by Cossette when she arrived, at any rate.

"Eat," Hanna urged, holding the spoon up to my mouth. It was one of Gwendolyn's, but it was full of the jello she had been trying to get me to eat for the past half hour.

"Eat," the little girl repeated with a squeal.

"I'm not hungry," I mumbled, pulling my head away like an unruly child. Cossette, sitting beside me, took either side of my face with her hands. I didn't have the energy to glare at her.

"You will eat, and you will like it," she told me.

"I'm not hungry. I'll just throw it back up," I told her, just as stubbornly.

"If Gwen can keep it down, you can," Jude said airily, nudging my back with his shoe. "Worrying like this is only going to make _you_ sick. Not to mention how many angry females you'll have on your hands if you wind up in the hospital as well."

Cossette kept her hold on me, and leaned in until our foreheads were touching. "If you do not eat, _ma puce_, I will have to do terrible things to you."

"Like?" I challenged halfheartedly.

"Not in front of the child, please," Hanna butted in.

"What not in front of the child?" Vai asked, clearly confused.

If nothing else, they helped pass the time. They didn't allow pokémon out in the waiting room, and at one point I escaped outside to update the rest of the team, but mostly, my entourage didn't let me out of their sight. It wasn't entirely unwelcome, but I wish I could have spent some of the time with my other Pokémon as well.

When the doctor walked out, I wished the waiting time would have gone on forever.

-.-.-

I watched the large casket as it was lowered into the ground. There was a crowd all around me, people I didn't know, strangers, cameras. They had loved Des, followed him and I through our journeys. I was unused to the celebrity side of my life, even then, but I wanted to turn around and scream at them all to leave us alone. He was not their Des. He had been mine.

But I didn't scream at them. I didn't say a thing. I couldn't speak at all during the ceremony, before, or after, or to anyone who talked to me. My voice had left me, and I couldn't stop staring at the patch of dirt missing the grass below the new headstone.

My Pedestal had finally been taken away from me altogether, and with him, my world had been pulled out from under my feet. I was lost without him. The loss of Des in my life hurt more than any other death; it was so keen, so broad, so _everywhere_. There wasn't anything I could do or see or touch or taste or smell that didn't remind me of him. He had been part of my life for so long, and without warning, now, I was on my own. No more support or moral compass.

I was lost.


	14. One Of Your Girls

1. Alicia was, undoubtedly, the first he consciously realized he liked. Possibly the fastest brought-on crush as well, but as we all know, that ended terribly. Not that he ever stopped thinking she's pretty.

2. Prior to that, however, there was probably Hanna. They spent so much time together, went through so much, some sort of bond had to have blossomed from that. Granted, neither of them knew what it was, and by the time either of them may have gotten around to noticing what they could have had, everything was broken, anyway. Hanna was changed and Zachary had been stolen by Nick. Even before then, he had stood in their way; Hanna was enamored, Zachary was idolizing, and everyone was fine with that.

3. It wasn't until he became Champion, renovated what laws he could, and found he had absolutely nothing else to do with his free time that he found himself thinking about girls again. And maybe Ike acting so _warm_ to Harlan had something to do with that, too. Maybe.

4. "How are you doing these days?"  
>"Oh, you know. Running the Gym, visiting Tessa, taking care of my team. Sunyshore has been really quiet lately, thanks to you and Nathan. Not that I'm complaining. Sonya helps out, but I think she's been missing you and him around so much."<br>"You still visit Tessa?"  
>"Well... Yeah. Wouldn't you visit your girlfriend if you were in the same city for the first time in over a year?"<br>"I... don't have a girlfriend."  
>"Why not?"<p>

5. Anyone who would've known about his sudden interest in girls—or, perhaps, his curiosity, not quite an interest yet—would have immediately thought of Cossette. His team certainly did. He, on the other hand, didn't.

6. Contrary to popular belief, Zachary hadn't always been straight as an arrow. Then again, he hadn't been much of anything for a large portion of his teenage years. Nick may have gotten that ball rolling, if only because he was so unused to attention and joking around and physical contact with other people. But, contrary to even more popular belief, Archie was not the one who first got him to consciously examine his sexuality and where he may or may not lie on the spectrum.  
>Jude was.<p>

7. "She's too young for me."  
>"But she likes you. That's pretty obvious. Why don't you give her a chance?"<br>"She's... too young. I don't want to hurt her."  
>"Hurt her? What do you think you'll be doing to her?"<br>"I've already hurt her, Hanna. I don't want to make things worse."  
>"So you're ignoring her."<br>"...Yeah."

8. Kisses and hugs had been stolen from him all his life. He was pretty used to it, actually. Well, stolen from him or given to him, but he was always the passive one. He gradually got past hugs and gave them of his own volition, but kissing was another matter. It wasn't until one of the Christmas parties and a confused Vaikuntha kissed him under some mistletoe that he'd had enough. He stomped over to Arianna and pulled her down for a kiss. It wasn't magical like the movies said, and it wasn't even all that great, but damn it, he was the one giving it.

9. Arianna caught his attention when she said she wasn't a trainer. She kept it when he flipped through her sketchbook and found page upon page of his team. It turned out that the way to a boy's heart wasn't his stomach, but his Pokémon.

10. For the same reason, they didn't last. She liked his team well enough, that was true, but she just didn't... get training. Or so he told himself; that was a simple, unavoidable reason. But really, it was a lot of things, as in any breakup. Too much time, too little time, accidents and anger and annoyance, and it boiled down to what he believed was training. He was a trainer. His team came first. And simply speaking, she couldn't accept that.

11. It was only after Zachary's first breakup that he realized how _lonely_ he was in the world. For human companionship, at any rate. He had just a handful of friends and acquaintances that were still speaking to him, but that was his fault. He wasn't terribly social, and running away from everything made it worse. He only had himself to blame.

12. It was inevitable that Cossette would track him down. What was unexpected was that she did it not as a reunion between friends; she faced him as a fellow trainer. And for the first time - perhaps the wilderness had hardened him - he thoroughly trounced her. He expected tears or anger afterwards. Instead, she just acknowledged that she still had a ways to go. That was when she appeared on his radar. She had grown up.

13. He was dancing with Hanna at her wedding when she leaned in and whispered, "Are you going to marry Cossette?"  
>He denied it, blushed, stuttered, and completely gave himself away. Not that he was thinking about proposing - they had nothing but random battles and hurried kisses and broken French between them - but the fact that there was... potential.<br>Hanna smiled knowingly and rested her cheek on his shoulder. He had finally gotten more than half an inch taller than her, but he still felt like such a kid around her. She had faced her life and made the changes it needed. He had not. "Go and dance with her tonight, okay?"  
>"...Fine," he grumbled reluctantly, cheeks still warm.<br>Hanna released him and shooed him off. Not towards Cossette or anyone else, but just letting him go free. He stood at the fringes of the crowd, uncomfortable in his suit, and watched her twirl about the dance floor with Jude. The dancing reminded him too much of Carlita and no amount of the joy in the air could fix that for him.  
>He didn't dance with anyone but Hanna that night, but a month and a half later when Cossette approached him again for another battle, he refused her. And it wasn't romantic or sweet, because she stubbornly refused to take his hand and dance then, so instead he picked her up and carried her over to where Ike was napping with his portion of the kids.<br>"Don't scowl at me like that," he told her, "I don't like it when you do that. You... Look at the cute sleeping babies and smile. You haven't smiled at me in months, Cossette."  
>She still didn't. "I have not won any battles yet."<br>"You have badges, and you have a large team again. You've been winning battles."  
>"Just not with you."<br>"And you're mad at me for that?"  
>"<em>Non<em>. I am mad at myself. I want to be your equal."  
>"So you're challenging the Champion?"<br>"...No, I am challenging my hero. And he still stands strong." She didn't have to sound so angry about it, though.  
>Zachary laughed, and he was proud of the fact that it was only a little bitter. "Come here. Teach me French."<br>It caught her off guard, but she allowed herself to be held as they sat down, using Des as a backrest. "...What is it you want to say?"  
>"How do I say... You're frustrating, and stubborn?" She elbowed him, hard, in the stomach. "Fine, how do I say you're cute?"<p> 


	15. Doctor Jones

He alighted on the white ground, wings spread wide and robe fluttering around his ankles. I stared. Nick smiled down at me and extended a hand to help me to my feet. I took it, tearing my gaze away from his eyes and to his wings. Great, white angel wings.

"I thought you'd have black wings," I said tactlessly.

Nick's smile was quickly replaced with a frown and he smacked me upside the head. "I come all the way here to talk to you, and what, you thought I went to hell? Wow, I guess I really did misinterpret those last few moments." He huffed at me and turned on his heel, raising his wings to take off again. I all but tackled him, fighting feathers and a tangle of limbs to wrap my arms around his chest.

He flicked me off with one of his new wings.

"Nick, I—"

"Relax. I was kidding." He grinned at me again, closing his eyes and cocking his head to one side, like he used to do. I approached him again, cautiously but hopefully. I knew this was a dream, I wasn't stupid. Plus, my dreams had been invaded so often that I could very easily tell them from reality, no matter how real they looked at the time. Maybe this was just more divine intervention. A chance for real closure.

I reached up and placed a hand on either side of his face, wiggling my fingers through his charcoal hair. He jumped in surprise and looked down at me. I smiled helplessly. "You look younger. I think you _are_ younger."

"I was wondering why you were suddenly taller," Nick said, gently prying my hands off his hair. "Well damn. If I got younger, I want those years of my life back to redo."

"It's... a little late for that."

"I know." His expression fell, but just for a moment. He dropped my hands and seized the front of my hoodie. Well, _his_ hoodie. "What the—you _didn't_."

"It—It's not the one you were wearing!" I yelped, shaking my head. "A-At the funeral, your parents caught me, and—!"

This was too surreal. Angel or hallucination or conscience, I was given a chance to talk to Nick again, and all he could do was laugh at the fact that I was wearing one of his oversized hoodies. I burned in embarrassment. He clapped me on the shoulders and I flinched on reflex, but to my surprise, my burns didn't hurt. Neither did my chest. Even for a dream, that was a little surprising.

"Just don't go idolizing me too much," Nick said proudly, tilting his head back with a haughty grin.

"A little late for that," I deadpanned. He drooped, wingtips brushing the ground beneath us. It reminded me a little of that black and white world, glowing softly and illuminating the world for us, but we weren't in that place. Or any other place any of the psychics had ever taken me. I looked around for the first time, a little confused. "...So, wings. I don't see a halo over your head."

"It's a little more complicated than that," he said Mareepishly and rubbed the back of his head. "But hey, no horns."

"Why is it so easy to talk to you _now_?"

"Because this is how you remember me."

"...Are you a memory?" I asked in a small voice.

Nick shook his head. "Nope. You're not that creative, anyway." My heart did an odd little flutter in my chest. "So... How's life?"

"You're so weird. That... _That's_ all you have to say to me after all the things I said to you?" I asked, looking down at my bare feet. "Up to the end, I was confused and hurt, and I said—"

"Hey. I knew you were hurting. I wasn't exactly in a land of rainbows and sparkles myself." He tilted my chin up, forcing me to look at him. I responded by scrunching my eyes shut. "Oh, you little brat. Fine. Be that way. I just wanted to come back, talk to my old buddy, thank him for a couple things, and I'm turned away. How cruel!"

"You're certainly playing it up," I said and cracked an eye open.

"I can afford to, now. I don't have anything to worry about anymore." Nick let go of me and beamed, though there was something unhappy about it. Or perhaps legitimately sad. Catching my eye, with a bit of a waver in his voice, he said, "I found Matthew."

How odd that for both of us, Matthew was the one that reinforced the dead. The funeral had been just that day, and it just then hit home that he was dead. And gone. Not the funeral, not the corpse, not the sense of loss, not the pseudo-angel before me. The fact that he had finally found his dead little brother.

I sank to the floor, hands pressed to my chest. It felt like I'd just lost him again. It seemed like all I had done the last couple of days was cry and snap at people, and here I got to do it again. Just great. I hadn't grown up at all, I was still just the same indecisive crybaby I'd always been.

"Hey now, don't be like that. It wasn't your fault."

"But—"

"The psychics and ghosts weren't trying to pin the blame on you. They were just as scared as you were." He knelt down beside me and placed an arm around my shoulders, pulling me against his side. I looked up as one of his white wings curled around me.

"It's not that. You're just... gone. A-And I'm still mad at you for hurting Hanna, for ruining her. She's still not speaking to me. I just _don't_ want to be mad at you, I want to be able to talk to you normally and have this feel weird. I miss you. The real you, the one before Matthew died."

"Sorry to say," Nick said softly, "but it wasn't as if that me up and disappeared. Yeah, for awhile there, my grip on reality was... faint, at best, but I was still _me_. Unhappy and angry and lost, but it was still me under all that."

"I never liked that you."

"And you think I did?"

"How can you sit there and talk so rationally about this?" I snarled at him, shrugging off his arm. I glowered at him. "_You_ were the one who died. _You_ were the one who was thrown away by Sinnoh. _You_ were the one who was turned into what you became. You should be the mad one here!"

"I was wondering where that spine went," he said mildly, retracting his wing. "And there we go. Try to keep that part, okay? You'll go far if you could get past that."

"I don't _want _to go far!"

"That's not what you said at my grave," Nick said, quieting me. "Jeez, don't make me feel like the bad guy here. I was just sort of coming to terms with that," he groaned, flopping onto his back (nearly whacking me in the head with one of those stupid wings). "I'm _sorry _for what I did. I am so sorry, and I hate myself because words aren't ever going to fix it or make anyone feel any better about it. And now I can't even do that anymore. I tried so hard to push you away, and now I can see it just hurt you more."

"And now _I_ feel like the bad guy," I muttered darkly, drawing my knees up to my chest.

He chuckled without much humor. "We match! We can be bad guys together. Totally soul mates."

"Well thanks, soul mate, for up and _dying _on me!"

"It wasn't completely on purpose," Nick said with a fake wounded tone I could see right through. I maintained my anger. "...What was I _supposed_ to do!"

"Not run into the nuzzle of death with arms spread, for starters!"

"My arms were around Chase, weren't they—?"

"That's not what I meant!" I burst out. "You did that on purpose. You left me to sort out the mess you left behind, all by myself. Hanna can't help, she hates me now, and Vai nearly died. Half the rest of my surviving friends are in the hospital, and I'm still trying to get Kostya to speak to me on a regular basis! Ike is blind and Carlita can't walk, and I can't even bear to look Des in the eye anymore, and—"

"Calm down. You can handle it. You've handled worse," Nick broke in, reaching over and tugging me down to the ground with him. I growled and thrashed, but he wrapped me up in his arms and wings. I settled for biting him on the shoulder, but that only made him laugh. "You'll be _fine_, Zach. I've seen you come out of worse unscathed."

"No, I usually bleed because of it."

"Regardless!" he declared, "You will do fine. You'll _be _fine. Your team will heal up—they're strong little beasts, that's for sure—and wounds heal."

"They leave scars," I mumbled.

He would not be swayed. "Scars add character."

I stayed silent, unable to help but think of Alice. She said she'd resist scarring just because she put her mind to it. If only it were always that simple.

"...I'm sorry you gotta clean up my mess. I am. But you're the only one I'd trust to."

"I don't want to have that much responsibility. ...Or power." I shuddered as I thought of Lola. I had _killed _her. Not with my own hands, but with a weapon, of a sort. Her death had still been my fault. "I shouldn't have it. I can't handle it. I'd become corrupt, or let my anger take over, or—"

"The fact that you're worrying about that is a little reassuring. It means you won't fall into those traps. You'd be an awesome Champion."

"...I'm scared, though," I admitted.

"...Thank you for taking Fargo and Harlan," Nick said quietly, changing topics. "Just... Thanks. So much. I'm glad two of them, at least will be alright."

"M-More than that! Vasudeva ran off, and, uh, I saw your Mothim and your Arbok at the funeral, and I think your Rhydon ran off..."

"It's fine," Nick said with a strained smile. "I knew I would be leaving you all behind. They're strong. They can... take care of themselves. But if your bloodthirsty Luxray even _thinks _about hurting Harlan, I will come and haunt you both."

"I-I'll make sure he won't."

We lapsed into silence, but it was fairly comfortable. Companionable. He kept me in his arms, much to my continued embarrassment (and squirming), but it wasn't totally bad or awkward. Hugs were nice, anyway. I felt like I needed more of them, especially if I was really going to face Sinnoh as its Champion after this.

It was weird. Like most of my life. We didn't talk about the secrets or meaning of life, we didn't even touch on any real issues. Just that he was sorry and I was scared and angry and we didn't even approach the friendship bit. Although really, maybe actions did speak louder than words.

I was half dozing when he finally stirred and released me. I tried to grasp the reality of the bizarre dream world again before it slipped away in either direction, and Nick helped me to my feet. I must have swayed a bit, because he held my arms and kept me upright. "Hey, wake up. No falling asleep in a dream. Dreams within dreams are too crazy, trust me."

"Why are you leaving?" I asked at once.

"I have to. You can't sleep forever. And I can't stay forever."

"But—"

"No buts. I don't make the rules, but this time around, I'm a little keener on following them. Let go of me."

"No," I growled into his sleeve. He simply picked me up, albeit with a grunt, and tossed me off once I was off balance. "You haven't done that since I was a kid."

"And what do you think you are now?" he asked critically. "Don't look at me like that. I really have to go now."

"...What'll we do without you?"

"You'll manage, and you'll survive. Thrive. Something like that."

We both jumped by a very sudden drop in temperature. And then, a Froslass materialized with a cloud of frost, a thin, silvery halo over her head. She tugged on Nick's sleeve and said, "_Trainer, you are pushing your time limit_."

Nick caught my look and gave me another bright grin. He seized Lassie by her thin shoulders and whirled her around to face me. "See? Death isn't so bad, really. You lose me, but one day, you'll get me back."

"L-Lassie?"

"_Oh_." Not the warmest of welcomes, or greetings, or reunions. Or anythings. She pressed both of her tiny paws against her mouth, looking pained.

"Don't be like that," Nick chided.

"_He did not see me at my best_," she mumbled dismally.

"_Who cares?_" This time, Nick didn't jump, but I still did. Kamala waltzed out of thin air, one hand on her hip. The Medicham gave me a very judgmental look.

"Hey now, back. It's getting a little crowded here," Nick ordered, but his psychic gave him a flat look.

"_I have things to say to him_," she said. Lassie hissed at her, but Kamala sneered right back. Got along as great as ever, then. Maybe death didn't change as much as I'd thought. She jabbed a finger in my direction. "_You. You ought to fix things, all of the things we could not. If you don't, or choose not to..._"

"Kamala, stop it," her trainer groaned, throwing his arms around her and reigning her back in. "I'm really sorry about this. We're still working out the kinks—they've been without a trainer for a couple years now, and—Lassie, stop it!" The Froslass whined and stopped freezing Kamala and I to the ground.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Somehow, I'm not surprised. I'm really not."

"_But you are running out of time, Trainer_," Lassie reminded him again.

"Just a little longer," he pleaded, ducking around behind them to hide behind me. "We need proper goodbyes this time around. Come on guys, be nice to me. I'm still new here."

Kamala rolled her large eyes. Without another word to me, she vanished again. Lassie stuck around a little longer, glancing at me shyly from time to time. Nick gave her a stern look, and with one last nod to me, she disappeared and the temperature gradually began returning to normal.

"Is... everyone together like that?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, in most cases. It's not so bad. But life is better, so don't you be getting any ideas!"

"I won't. Hanna still needs me. Others do, everyone does."

"Good. ...You take care of her, alright?" Nick said, turning me around to face him. "You make sure she doesn't fall, too. Keep her on track. She doesn't have to ever stop hating me, I've accepted that, but make sure she doesn't dwell on it too much more."

"I will," I promised.

"And you stay on track, too. No more getting distracted or angry or whatever it was you were worried about."

"I'll stay on track," I said with a wry smile. "That stuff's all over with, anyway. I failed, but it's still over."

"You didn't fail! Humans still exist, don't they?" I shrugged, but he pulled me into a hug all the same. "You saved everyone."

"Except you."

"I'll be fine. I didn't need saving, not like that. I'm with Chase, I have Matthew, and I have enough of my team here with me, sadly enough. And in a century, I'll have you."

"Woah, no. I don't want to live that long," I said, wiggling in his grasp. He laughed and held me tighter. "Maybe a couple decades."

"More than a couple."

"With all the abuse my body's been through? I'll be lucky to hit twenty."

"You better hit ninety, at least."

"I'll shoot for sixty."

"Eighty!" Nick said with a squeeze that bordered on painful. "And no less! You better live a long and happy life, or I will kick your ass next time I see you. Hanna, too, and all of your new friends. Especially your team."

"I'll try, but no promises. If I slip and fall off a cliff—"

"Shh! You'll jinx yourself!" ...Probably, knowing my now-infamous luck. Nick's smile became something sadder as he held me out at arm's length. "I'm seriously pushing my time limit now. I only came down to... say goodbye, I guess. Wish you luck. Make sure you wouldn't wimp out on anything."

"I won't," I said, blinking back the sudden stinging in my eyes. "Nick, you were—"

"Don't say anything you'll regret later," he warned.

"I've never regretted our friendship. Not really. And I'm sorry I said you weren't my friend in front of the white thing."

He shook his head and told me, "It's okay. I wasn't really a friend in those circumstances, even if I sorta meant well. I didn't deserve to be called a friend."

"That's not true! That's just... cruel. I didn't want you to die like that."

"It happens. Don't dwell on it, don't let it shape you, okay? Keep moving on with your life, do amazing, be unwavering, treat your teammates and friends right. Change Sinnoh for the better." He pulled me into one last hug and I wrapped my arms tight around him. "Just be happy, okay?"

"I'll miss you," I said, voice muffled by the fabric.

"Maybe I'll come haunt you, anyway."

"No, you stay up here. Stay with your team, and Matthew. Lord knows you're lost without him." I was the one to break the hug, otherwise I had a feeling neither of us would've been able to let go of the other. I stepped away, just out of his arm's reach. I smiled bravely, though my chest hurt again. Which was weird, because my ribs were okay. "Bye, Nick."

"Bye, Zach." He raised an arm to wave goodbye, just as the world around us suddenly started to dim. Before he disappeared completely, he jumped and shouted, "Oh! Become a doctor, too! I wanna be able to sing that song when you get up here!" I didn't have time to reply before I woke up, staring up into very worried Camerupt eyes.

"_What's wrong?_" Des asked, licking my face. "_You were crying_."

"Just a... dream." I pushed him away before he could lick me again, and covered my eyes with my other arm. I grinned, trying to stop crying. "Goddamnit."

"_What?_"

"Now I have to become Champion _and_ a doctor."


	16. Fragile Thoughts

Konstantin thought about his trainer.

"They're healing up nicely, right?" He thought about the almost-hidden, quavering note in that last word. How fragile he was. How he was struggling to hide it, even then, even from them.

Zachary shrieked as Des licked a stripe from the base of his spine to the top of his head. Kostya pressed his hands over his mouth, fighting a giggle; Carlita had no such qualms and broke into a laughing fit. "_How are we supposed to know how your body heals? It seems as if it never does_," Des said pointedly.

"_Never fully_," Ike agreed, apart from them. Kostya gave him a look—and then realized that he couldn't do that anymore.

"You're a fire pokémon, you should know burns," their trainer replied, looking all kinds of put-out and ashamed. Kostya liked to think he was the only one who really knew why he looked like that, and why the others never took it seriously. With Ike's sight gone, it was highly likely he was.

"_I've never burned you this badly_," Des said, voice quiet. There was a long, awkward silence. They were all thinking about their trainer now, of things said and done and what they should have said and done. Kostya knew regrets. Zachary put his hand over one of the burns on his shoulder, the ones from his old Electabuzz. Maybe he knew regrets, too.

Alice flapped down from Konstantin's head to Des'. "_You are healing up just fine, Trainer. You'll be fighting fit soon enough!_"

"Thanks."

-.-.-

Kostya was talking regularly again, but he was still getting used to his new body. He was not one of the ones healing; he had evolved, and had developed this new body, and so he was fine when the others were not. He had been hurt, sure, by words more than actions, but he was still doing better than the others. He felt separated, not for the first time, from his own team.

"Have you always been this small, comrade?" Kostya asked curiously, lifting his trainer with one hand. It was hardly a strain.

He didn't miss the way Carlita flinched violently at his human tongue. He was separated, truly.

"I'm not small! Don't you remember—Kostya, we've been together for years now! You've seen me grow more than Alice or Zarek have!"

"_You did get smaller when I evolved_," Zarek chimed in unhelpfully. Zachary shot him a look.

"You _grew_. I am not small."

"All my life I was small, smaller than Dusclops and humans. And now, neither seem so large," he remarked. He shifted his grip, holding his trainer in both hands, marveling at how _light_ he was. He could hardly lift him as a Duskull, and now it was like he weighed nothing more than his old bone mask.

"I'm not a small human. I'm almost taller than Hanna now," his trainer snapped, face red from being manhandled. Kostya idly wondered why. He should be used to acting as others' plaything by now.

"She is not very large, either."

"_Kostya, stop antagonizing,_" Des said, to Zachary's rescue. Kostya noticed how he brightened when the Camerupt waddled over. "_You're the second largest on the team now. It's a big change, yes, but don't let the power go to your head._"

Oh, and there, his face darkened again. Kostya enjoyed the multiple layers of their conversations now, after the run-in with Arceus and Nick and Lola and Hanna and there had been so many there. So many involved. But his trainer had been so instrumental, just like he had always known he would.

"If he has power, he's allowed to use it," Zachary mumbled, so quiet, so scared. So fragile, again.

Des leveled a glare at him. Kostya didn't like the way their team was fragmenting. He, _he_ could handle it. He had been ostracized before. He could handle the frightened jumps and gasps when he spoke to humans, but he didn't want to see the others suffer the same. Especially his trainer. He didn't deserve it. He had done the best he could.

"_What's past is past, and honestly, we should have danced on her corpse until she split open while we were at it. We would not have suffered any more than we have now_," Ike said, lip curled. "_Drop it, fat camel._"

"_I am not pleased with you, either, cat_," Des shot back. Konstantin pulled his trainer a little closer to his chest, taking half a step backward. He did not like this fighting. He liked his team—but more than that, he liked his trainer. They should not do this to him. He had been through enough.

_But he could always go through more_, his rebellious little ghost mind informed him.

"_Stop fighting, the both of you! You're acting like chicks_," Alice admonished.

"_He's just too content with the situation. He bloodied our trainer and has a bodyguard_," Des snorted and turned away.

"_I only had to lose my sight to earn such trophies!_" Ike hissed.

"_Stop fighting_!" Carlita called and tried to jump in between them, but misjudged her speed. She collapsed in front of Des, awkward and clumsy and not balanced at all. She didn't look right, missing her tail. Laying in between them, she added, "_Please, just stop fighting. I want to be done with the fighting already._"

Des leaned down and nosed her, murmuring apologies. Ike stalked off, his steps too careful and too calculated. Zachary fought his way out of Kostya's grasp and knelt beside Carlita, helping her up, his eyes looking so sad and so dark.

_No_, Kostya thought, _he cannot handle much more_.

-.-.-

"The internet has failed me. Damn." Zachary leaned back in his chair, looking more baffled than disappointed. "It hasn't betrayed me this badly since the _Marble Hornets_ fiasco."

"Let's not relive that," Arianna deadpanned and leaned in, taking the mouse from him. "Though this is puzzling. Usually pokémon items are easier to find. You sure it's called a Reaper's Cloth?"

"Yeah, pretty sure." He pursed his lips, brow furrowed in thought. Then, he nodded. "That should be it. I'll just have to ask others about it. I'll ask Fantina or maybe Lucian..."

"I'll keep looking. You could always put out something, I don't know, official. About it, I mean."

"I don't have the power to do that. Not a gym leader anymore, remember?"

"That doesn't mean you don't have authority. ...Cossette told me what you're planning."

Zachary looked away, the picture of innocence.

Arianna sighed and put a hand on his shoulder. "I sure hope you know what you're doing. I'll support you no matter what, and hey, I won't complain if I get to design for a Champion. I could use the boost in popularity—and sales."

"Isn't Hanna keeping you in business single-handedly?"

"Don't change the subject. Just tell me when you're going to challenge them, okay? I'd like to watch on TV."

"I'm going to do it in the dead of night when the world is asleep." She pinched him and he jumped, then rubbed his arm. "Ow! Stop that. I just want to avoid more publicity."

"I want to watch. I didn't get to see you battling in your own gym for all that long, and I want to see some real high class battles," Arianna replied stubbornly.

"...Fine. I'll call you when I go in." With that, he left her. It was already dark and cool out and he pulled up his hood, though more out of habit than anything else. "...Kostya, how long have you been down there?"

"It's snug," he replied from his shadow.

Zachary glared down at him. Konstantin slipped out of his shadow, pressing his hands against his mouth guiltily. Some habits were hard to break. "You look like you just shoved something in your mouth like that."

"I'm sorry."

"Have you been stalking me this whole time?"

"I do not like the use of that word, comrade," Kostya mumbled. "Also, it is not only me. When you are outside, Alice watches you from afar. No one else has the capabilities. We are simply keeping an eye on you."

"Why? I think I can handle myself."

Kostya felt something like _pain_ in his chest. That was odd. "You don't have to handle yourself. We are comrades. We support each other."

"I don't need to be babysat," his trainer said and turned away from him. He walked away.

Kostya took a moment to realize he wasn't automatically floating after him. He had to walk, to manually move his new legs, to patter after him. Too loud. Ghosts shouldn't be loud. Support should come from the shadows, mindful of the situation at hand, and Kostya felt that pain again. He wasn't suited to help his comrade as best he could.

-.-.-

"_Contest_!" Carlita declared, dancing from foot to foot. Her artificial tail swayed behind her. This much movement wasn't too much for her. Konstantin had to admit that he was glad she was up and moving regularly again; a still Carlita was too scary.

"Uh, yeah," Zachary agreed. One hand on his hip and the other rubbing the back of his head. His hair was too short again; Kostya didn't like that. But he did like the Mareepish look on him. It fit him. "Got double-teamed by Hanna and Cossette again... Some sort of publicity stunt. We're having a little contest."

"_Yes, this sounds like a serious and delightful time_," Ike said venomously. Harlan sighed softly and painted a stripe across his muzzle. He sparked once in surprise and wrinkled his nose, then slowly, laid his ears down and covered his snout with his paws. Embarrassed. Kostya bit back a laugh.

"_What does it concern? Will we have time?_"

"It's not as if we've had many challengers. I think they're all still scared of us..."

"_A contest of strength! And skill! And dancing!_"

"There _is_ a dancing segment," he agreed awkwardly. No doubt only added for Carlita. He felt sorry for whoever tried to upstage her; while she was still working to get her skills back, no one in the team would let anyone take the spotlight off of her while she tried. "And things like skill and strength and speed... I don't know. I'm not setting up the details. Just dragging the Elite Four down with me... _Shit_, that sounds weird. I don't like having power over them."

"_You wanted power_," Des said lightly. Zachary tried to glare at him, but it came out too sad and too pathetic. Kostya liked that look on him. Oh, how fragile he really was. "_What exactly is the purpose of this?_"

"Just... PR? I don't know. Something about raising money for charity and pokémon and look, you know I can't say no to anyone—Lucian aside—and they got me at the same time. I couldn't resist! I was powerless."

The contest didn't amount to much. There was much (good-natured) cheating involved, and it wasn't on as grand of a scale as their trainer had led them to believe. Carlita tripped twice while trying to dance, Harlan augmented Ike's electricity when demonstrating skill, and Kostya won the strength just because Des couldn't actually _lift_ anything with how short his legs were. It was an amusing diversion from their normal life of arguing with politicians and the media and defending their title, which Kostya was sure was the point of it all.

It was a messy patch for the hurts of their team, but he was glad for it all the same. Nick was dead and Hanna was distant; their team was all their trainer had. He couldn't stand to see it fragment so badly, but he could stand what it was doing to their trainer even less. As much as Konstantin helplessly adored pain and strife, there was something deep inside of him that didn't like it when it happened to his trainer.

He knew he was thinking about these sorts of things far too often. He couldn't help it. He thought that Des was being too cruel after what happened in Stark Mountain, and that Carlita was still too much of a sore point for his trainer to properly handle. He thought Ike had come out better than he thought. He thought Alice was trying too hard to stay in her mother position and that Zarek wasn't helping anything with his continued spoiled attitude. He thought the humans were inhumane for how they were treating their new Champion, after _all_ he had done—all he had given up—to try to protect them.

But above all, over everything else in the world, more than his teammates or humanity or gods or the dead, Kostya thought about his trainer.


	17. A Thousand Years

**Author's Note**: aaaaaa

Hi guys! It has been _one full year_ since Pedestal ended! We did it, dudes! Since I am a huge sap, have a oneshot celebrating it.

-.-.-

_4.75 years BSM (before stark mountain)_

I needed to find a way to get a pokémon that wouldn't be totally useless. My parents were really fighting me tooth and nail, so I was going to have to take matters into my own hands, that much I could see. I didn't have much money and I wasn't quite desperate to run away _quite_ yet, however.

But there were wild pokémon around my house. Unbeknownst to my parents, I used a bit of my allowance to buy a couple of pokeballs. I waited until a long weekend where mother was at work and dad was busy indoors, and when it was still nice enough that it wouldn't be suspicious for me to be outside for a few hours. It was a flawless plan.

My flawless plan didn't preclude pokémon from having a say in it, however.

"No, come back! I need you!" The lotad huffed at me and waddled off. I tried to follow it, but it was long gone.

My other attempts weren't so great, either. A shinx bit me, a pair of starly pooped on me, and a ralts teleported away before I could do more than shout wordlessly in excitement. Pokémon were not my forte.

A bidoof approached me, sniffing at my boots. "Keep walking," I spat. Just because my standards had fallen hadn't meant that I still didn't want some sort of amazing pokémon that I could train until it unlocked its secret potential and would win me all of my battles. Bidoof were _not_ amazing pokémon.

I kept walking through the forest, trying to be quiet, eyes peeled for any signs of pokémon. Starly and bidoof were pretty common, so I didn't really want either of those. I didn't see any other ralts, so I figured that was a freak accident. If only I could get a psychic, that would make battling so easy...

A growlithe, chasing a kricketot, ran across the path. "Hey!" Neither pokémon paid me any heed and disappeared into the undergrowth. Forget the bug, I could get a fire pokémon! "Come back! Puppy, come back!"

I tore after them, vaulting over lower bushes, fighting to untangle my sleeves from branches. It wasn't fast traveling, but we were in a slightly thinner part of the forest, so I could still see them—for the moment. I slung my backpack off my shoulder and dug around in it, looking for my granola bar. I was not above using bribery to obtain my first pokémon.

"Growlithe, wait! I have food!" I called after them, but they were so far away, I wasn't sure they could hear me. They were just little reddish blurs through all of the green. I sighed and slowed to a walk. This was getting me nowhere fast.

...Actually, it just got me lost, pretty fast.

I managed to make it back home with two bite marks, scraped knees, a broken shoe, and a broken arm. My parents made me promise that I'd never try to catch my own pokémon again.

-.-.-

_7 years BSM_

"But Daddy, I want to catch my pokémon!" Hanna wailed, latched onto her father's pant leg. He continued walking, heedless of the little girl attached. "I want to go out and be a trainer!"

"Sweetie, you _can_ become a trainer. I just want your first pokémon to be something..." He trailed off for a moment and she gave a great sniff. "Something safe, sophisticated. With a pedigree, hopefully. I don't want you to go off and find something with some sort of disease of temperament issue."

"But pokémon are nice!" she insisted and made a grab for his other leg. He stepped out of her grasp. "I would only catch the nicest, most perfectly behaved pokémon in the world! Promise!"

"That's why we'll just buy one from a breeder. I just want you to have something special." The man stooped down and picked her up, though she was starting to get too big for that. She would always be his little girl, though. "This is the man I bought Aeru from. Do you want a dratini too?"

"I want something fluffy," she mumbled darkly. Dratini were pretty and she liked her father's dragonair, but she wanted to make her own decisions. That began by distancing herself from him.

They came out into one of her father's business rooms. That's what she knew them as and didn't really care to learn anything else. But now, there were pokémon in it, alongside a boy about her age and a man in his late twenties. Hanna paid them no mind, and, after fighting her way out of her father's arms, eagerly ran over to inspect the pokémon.

"What's this one?"

"An altaria," the boy replied with an accent. She peered at him curiously.

"And this one?" Hanna asked, pointing up at the taller one.

"A fraxure," he said after just a moment's hesitation.

"Unovan pokémon? I thought they were still on lock down."

"Hey, man, there's like, no pokémon I can't get," the man drawled, rolling back his shoulders.

The boy kept naming the pokémon for Hanna, and she excitedly went over them, weighing their aesthetic value over how fearsome they looked. She dimly heard her father say no to any dragons, but that was alright. Something fluffy.

"And this is an eevee, but why is it white?" She stooped to pick up the pokémon, but it hissed and swatted at her hand. She squealed and drew back, more surprised than anything else. "That's not very well behaved!"

"He's in a bad mood because his love is pregnant, okay? Don't be mean to the pokémon just because you can't understand what they're going through," the boy said defensively and knelt down by the white eevee. He petted it and it let him, leaning into his gloved hands.

"...I want one," Hanna said with a sulk. "But not that mean one."

"We have plenty of eevee."

"Why are _you_ even here? You're not a pokémon breeder."

"I am too!" he cried, looking affronted. "I am his apprentice, okay, but just for now. I'm already better with pokémon than him! I can get you any pokémon, any time!"

"So you're not a professional," Hanna clarified, unimpressed.

"I am too! You want a shiny eevee, fine! I will get you as many shiny eevee as you want!" he snapped back.

-.-.-

_3.5 years BSM_

"Heeeeey, Mattie. Wanna see something cool?"

"Nick, it's—" Matthew scrounged for his phone and blinked at the clock, "—two fifteen. It's late. Why are you even here?"

Nick plopped himself down next to his brother, looking entirely too awake considering the time. Matthew sat up and scrubbed at his eyes. He had left on a training journey to get _away_ from family constantly, and Nick had responded by getting a hypno. He had learned very quickly what a psychic lock was and how it could be used in conjunction with the move teleport. And he had not been pleased.

"I couldn't sleep, and Fargo snores."

Matthew would give him that one. He remembered clearly how loud the arcanine snored.

"Wanna see something cool?" Nick repeated with a grin so excited it bordered on manic.

"What is it?"

"Guess what I did."

"What?"

"Come on, it'll be cool." He grabbed his brother and his backpack, and Matthew noticed that the hypno appeared behind Nick. The next thing he knew, he was somewhere bright.

Cursing the difference in light levels as he pressed his palms against his eyelids, he felt Nick steer him into a plush seat. He was tempted to go back to sleep on it.

"Nick Sayre, what are you doing in here so late! You can't just teleport in at any time of night, you know!" came an irate female voice. Matthew cracked open an eye. Oh—they were in a pokémon center. A little nicer than the few he had seen so far, but still recognizable.

"Where are we? Do you—crap, did you grab my pokémon?"

Nick pressed his backpack into his chest and Matthew hugged it to himself greedily. "Lucian dared me to challenge him any time of day!" he replied to the woman, a Nurse Joy.

"Oh, let him challenge! It'll be some excitement for the night!" another trainer in the lobby slurred, waving an arm from where he was draped across one of the couches. Nick rolled his eyes, but Matthew noticed that he was still grinning. His thought process struggled to keep up.

"And you—there are rules against public intoxication, Archie!"

"I'm not _in_ public, I'm in a building," Archie retorted.

"He's got you there," Nick chimed in helpfully.

"The pokémon center lobbies are considered public," the Nurse Joy replied scathingly. "Boys, off to your rooms! Nick, you can challenge Lucian in the morning!"

"It _is_ morning!"

"Bed!" the woman snapped and Nick slunk off, tugging a very sleepy little brother behind him.

It wasn't until later, after breakfast and Matthew was fully awake, did he realize that his brother had finally gotten through Victory Road and was trying to challenge the Elite Four. And he'd brought him along to try to show off. Typical.

-.-.-

_4.75 years ASM (after stark mountain)_

"Jocee, get back here!" Arianna called, chasing after her luxio.

"Smeargle," Harlan sighed, and I nodded in agreement. Arianna still didn't want to be a trainer, Fargo was still scared of Jocee, and Ike took pleasure in secretly training his daughter. Some things never changed.

I had another sip of my wine. Getting wine drunk may have been a bad habit but damn if it didn't help me keep my sanity when running this stupid region. The press didn't necessarily like that vice of mine, but they didn't like a lot of things I did, so they could bite me. I had bigger things to worry about.

"_Challenger beat me_," came a text from Flint. Like that. Ever since I'd defected from my throne room, it had become a game for Elite Four challengers to find me to, well, challenge. Like hell I was about to give up my title.

Lucian had simply put a psychic lock on me and was kind enough to offer to teleport challengers to me. So Flint, kind soul that he was, usually gave me some warning.

"Alright guys, pack up." I stood up and gulped down the rest of my glass.

"Where are you off to?" Alicia asked, pushing her sunglasses up onto her pale hair. "The show was just getting started."

"Ike, come on!" I called and he growled at me, not wanting to give up pushing his daughter into a life of gleeful violence. I felt sorry for Arianna. "I might be in a battle soon, so no need to make it easy on anyone."

"Oh, come on. Battle on the beach for once," she huffed. "You could stand to let Zarek battle once in awhile."

"He makes eyes at damn near every water pokémon we battle. I'll go somewhere where Des isn't at a horrible disadvantage, thank you."

"You could throw everyone off and battle in your old gym. Most of the traps still work," Alicia offered with a wicked grin.

It was a minor miracle we hadn't run the region into the ground out of sheer stupidity at this point. "Sure, why not. Ike, leave her _alone_ already!" Kostya floated over and picked him up, tugging him along after us.

The challenger never beat Lucian, so my evening was free. Alicia and I watched movies and went out to dinner with Arianna. My friends seemed so spread out these days; half of them were in gyms, Hanna was overseas more often than not, and it was lucky enough that I managed to catch Arianna when she was back in Sinnoh. And they wondered why I preferred the company of my team.

But still, I needed days like this. It made things worth it.

-.-.-

_7 years ASM_

"Jude and I are going to settle down on a pokémon ranch," Hanna announced over dinner.

Zachary spat out his drink with his typical amount of grace. Cossette scowled and offered him her napkin.

"Y-You—_you_ are going to live on a ranch?" he asked incredulously. Jude struggled to hide laughter; Hanna elbowed him none-too-kindly beneath the table. "I mean... that's great!"

"Gwendolyn needs a stable place to call home," Hanna said primly, clearly miffed by his reaction.

"And I can't afford to keep traveling and hoping to catch good breeding stock," Jude added in support. "I can't afford to export Unovan pokémon all the time, either; I need to get a good pool of my own to sell from. We've given this some thought."

"I think it's a good idea," Cossette told them. Zachary nodded after an awkward pause.

Hanna sighed and set her chin on her fist. Manners be damned. "Get it out of your system."

"I wasn't..."

One look from her told him otherwise. The Champion sighed.

"Okay, _you_ are going to be a ranch housewife? You're going to go live out in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of land around you and help raise pokémon all day? You're going to live miles and miles from malls and shopping and us?"

"You're so cute," she said, dangerously sweet. He winced. "To answer your question, _no_, I am not going to be a 'ranch housewife'. I am going to be doing my own designing and selling them to Arianna for her lines. I will be raising Gwendolyn and managing some of the numbers from the pokémon and the like. And to remind the experienced trainer, I have a kirlia. Miles don't matter and I will be making sure to stay up to date on the latest trends and news just as much as I always have."

"Easy now, love," Jude cut in gently. Zachary looked ready to bolt and Hanna was eying him like she wished to do things to him with her steak knife. Only Cossette seemed at ease with the situation, politely sipping at her water. "He was just surprised because he can't comprehend the thought of anyone but me performing the rigors of pokémon breeding and his brain broke trying to visualize your skills in combination with that, right?"

"Yeah. That."

Hanna rolled her eyes. "I just don't like that _that's_ going to be the response of everyone."

"You haven't told anyone else?" Cossette asked, surprised.

"Well, Gwendolyn. But she just thinks 'ranch' is another type of pokémon," Jude said with a shrug. "She'll have space there to play, at least. I know several individuals in the field who have settled down recently into a static life and have benefited greatly. We'll do fine. And it'll be one less couple to play tag with if we want to try to get together."

Both Cossette and Zachary looked nervously away at that, practically radiating feigned innocence.

-.-.-

_3.5 years ASM_

"_Hi_," Des said, sidling up to the ninetales.

"_Leave_," Adele replied at once.

"_Okay_."

It had been going that way ever since Adele had joined Cossette's team. At first, Des was eager to discuss fire pokémon things—how to control the temperature and how hot was too hot and how much fire she could breathe before she got a sore throat and how did she deal with water—since he hadn't gotten to do that with anyone in quite some time. Alice could sometimes discuss that with him, but it wasn't the same. She didn't understand the finesse involved. Fargo was okay to talk about it with, but someone new would be nice.

But the ninetales would have nothing to do with him. Their trainers didn't hang around too often, and most of that time was donated to awkward social gatherings, avoiding each other's eye, and battling tooth and nail against each other. Des was getting used to Cossette's team. They hadn't been able to get _used_ to another trained team in quite awhile. It was a nice feeling.

"_I like your tails_," Des told her one time and she had tried to burn his face off. After that, he tried to stop complimenting her.

Alice thought he had a crush and Ike suggested that he start bringing her his kills. Harlan told him to be sweet and gentle (and Des wondered when she had ever gotten Ike to do that for her). Kostya offered to shadow sneak her away from the rest of the time for a one-on-one talk about their feelings (because Kostya _clearly_ did that with his interests, Des mentally scoffed), and Carlita told him he should beat her in a battle—which he routinely did—and said that being the best would win him all of the lady pokémon.

Des wondered why he bothered asking the others. It wasn't like that, none of that was right. He just wanted to _talk_ to Adele, that was it! This was nothing like how he felt with Isabella.

Eventually—for as thick as his trainer could be, eventually even he would catch on to the team's gossip—his trainer sat him down and offered to talk it out with him. It was more pleasant than the alternatives, so Des agreed. They settled into a quiet part of the Canalave city park and Des rolled around in the cool grass. Zachary sat down and watched.

"Alice says you like Cossette's ninetales."

"_Alice says you like Adele's trainer. How much stock are we going to put into Alice's gossip?_" Des asked in return.

Zachary plucked at the grass in front of his knees, mulling that over. Des was alright with whichever direction the conversation would take.

His sleeves were still too long, and they fell over his hands as he picked the blades of grass. But he was growing into it. "I think," Zachary said, very cautiously, "that we both have a serious case of not being able to forget about dead people or pokémon."

"_If you say so_."

"Do you want me to start hanging around Cossette? You could talk to Adele more often."

"_I'd like that_," Des agreed blandly, rolling onto his stomach. He tucked his legs in front of him and looked at his trainer expectantly.

"Do you want me to talk to Cossette about this?"

"_I'd like to just talk to Adele on my own._"

"Do you want me to get Alice to stop trying to play matchmaker?"

"_For us both, yes._"

"Do you want me to ask any of the rest of the team to help?"

"_I can handle myself, Trainer._"

"Do you want me to stop asking questions now?" Zachary asked and cracked a smile.

"_I like our talks, even if they're full of questions,_" Des said happily and butted his head against his trainer's chest. He laughed and scratched him behind the ears, in that way that he liked so much. "_I just wish you'd talk to the rest of the team about their odd thoughts on courtship._"

"Huh?"

"_Dead things, paintings, ribbons, fights, and ice sculptures are not going to impress a fire pokémon_," Des said flatly. "_And someone needs to finally tell Kostya, once and for all, that stalking is not an acceptable form of affection._"


	18. Five Times He Doesn't Get Hurt

**Five Times In Which Zach Doesn't Get Hurt (And One Time He Does)**

* * *

><p>1. "Wait, you want me to what?" Zach asks, momentarily relaxing his grip on Ike. As a result, the shinx bounds forward and pounces on Kostya, eliciting a harsh, panicked cackle. "Stop it!" He dives back into the fray before Carlita offers her 'help'.<p>

"Kickboxing," Nick replies with an easy grin.

"_Kicking!_" Carlita squeals. At least it distracts her from trying to punish Ike.

"I figure, you know, it wouldn't hurt to learn a little self-defense. You're kinda small and you tend to get hurt a lot."

Ike zaps him and he can feel his hairs stand on end. Something smells charred.

"A _lot_," Nick repeats.

Zach vividly remembers trying to learn fighting moves from Carlita before. He thinks that time he broke fingers, or was it his wrist? Nick insists that learning from humans is the better idea, and it is. For Zach.

Apparently, Carlita was a better teacher than he'd thought. Or maybe he can simply take a hit better. It's _Nick_ who ends up doubled over after a practice round, wheezing and bleeding. And okay, maybe he shouldn't be laughing at his best friend, but who knew that Zachary Jones would trump Nick Sayre?

* * *

><p>2. "This place is <em>huge<em>!" Nick shouts, cupping his hands around his mouth. He can swear it echoes back at him.

Hanna preens, proud of this. "Of course it is. Normally it's full of people, but daddy's company is having two conventions at this hotel this week. And it's not hard to convince a bunch of old men not to bother with the pool for a couple hours," she says and drops off her bag onto a pool chair.

It's early evening, the sky still orange and red, and the hotel is a grand thing with an even grander pool. It's half indoor, half outdoor, connected by a small underwater tunnel that Nick immediately heads towards.

"Pokemon are alright, right?" Zach asks nervously, rolling a pokeball back and forth on his knee.

"Of course," Hanna replies with a long, happy sigh. She tilts back and floats on her back, skin already tinged pink. It's a heated pool, and she insists it has mineral water as well. The opulence and fanciness set his teeth on edge. "Des might not like it, but maybe the heat will pacify him. I think one of the connecting rooms is a sauna, but that may be a bit too humid for him..."

"What are you waiting for?!" Nick shouts across the large pool, standing on the edge of a low diving board. He bounces on it like an excited child. Or like Carlita. Zach shakes his head, but can't help the smile. Hanna definitely giggles. "Let's race or something!"

After explaining to Carlita that running around the pool is a bad idea, and making Ike promise and swear that he absolutely will not even _think_ about discharging the _tiniest_ bit of electricity near any water, Zach slips into the warm water. It definitely feels nice and all of the stress melts away. He keeps near the edge at first, keeping an eye on Des to make sure he's alright (he does stick one foot into the warm water, but backs off with a rumble) and glaring at Ike when he gets a little too frisky in repelling Kostya's haunting.

But then Nick manages to sneak up on him and dunks him, and it turns into a splashing contest. Hanna gets dragged in and soon it is a race, or marco polo, or a _Jaws_ reenactment.

And Zach reminds himself how to have fun. Des doesn't drown; he curls up next to Isabella and they talk for most of the evening. Ike doesn't electrocute anyone; he tries the sauna once, but after it makes his fur stand on end, he has much more fun stalking around the edges and batting at anyone who comes close.

Hanna shows off her milotic and they take turns getting rides or trying to race her, but that is what ultimately gets them kicked out. Nick, competitive as he is, tried to coax Chase into the water. Wet dragons don't turn out to be happy dragons. Zach laughs and laughs when, for once, it isn't him or his team that leads to the end of the fun. Hanna and Nick act guilty all through their late dinner, and he still bursts out laughing when they overhear any of the hotel staff asking how part of the heated pool froze over.

* * *

><p>3. In a world where everyone is happy and whole and together, Nick is a stealer of kisses.<p>

Hanna has always been more worldly; she drifts from Nick as she learns more and more from Jude, and she needs no lessons in romance from a boy. She needs no lessons on anything. She grows into a trainer with badges of her own—trailing behind the boys, but never far. And she has the knowledge, from Jude, that neither of them fully commit to picking up.

Zach, on the other hand, has always been naïve. If not naïve, then trusting, and if not trusting, then perhaps sheltered. A competent trainer, but not socialized for human interaction. Part of it is Hanna's fault—Jude and Zach never completely get along, and more fighting just scares the younger boy off after awhile—but a larger part of it is Nick's fault. Too much, too fast.

"I just wanted you to ask her out! It was _practice_ and she was cute!" Nick calls fruitlessly. Alice hisses down at him. She, her trainer, and the ghost are all in a tree, hidden (mostly) from prying eyes.

"She is into girls!" Zach calls back down, sounding pained. Still. He's so sensitive, too sensitive, too empathic.

And entirely too focused on the rejection part of it. Nick runs a hand through his hair, putting the other on his hip. "You lose some battles, right? But you still learn from them."

"You are _not_ going to tell me that getting turned down for a dance is like a pokémon battle!"

"But it kind of was!"

"I don't see how anyone so—" Zach cuts himself off and Kostya titters.

Nick arches an eyebrow. Odd. "...So?" he prompts.

"So charismatic," Zach tactfully continues, "can possibly think of asking girls out in terms of pokémon battles."

"Well it helps when you're as dashingly handsome as I." No response, not even ghostly laughing. Okay, it was a weak joke, but Nick doesn't know what else to do. He hadn't been expecting the girl to come out like that. "One loss doesn't mean you're broken! Come on, we can try again."

Still silence from the tree.

Nick rolls up his sleeves and starts climbing. He gets halfway up before the ghost 'accidentally' cracks one of the branches supporting him, and with a yelp, he falls. Zach flails and tries to grab him, but that only ends up with both of them in a heap on the ground. Nothing broken, and not much bruised besides his pride. He hadn't fallen out of a tree since he was nine.

"Still hung up on getting rejected?" he asks brightly, not moving.

Zach, on top of him, shakes his head without bringing his face out of the fabric covering Nick's shoulder. "You're the one who was teasing me for it."

"Me? Teasing you?"

The silence was pointed.

"Okay, fine, but I wouldn't tease you for something like this."

Zach mumbles something into his shoulder.

"What?" Nick asks, confused.

"You're the one saying I should have a girlfriend, or—or a kiss, or at least a _date_. But I don't even care about that sort of stuff, Nick, I just want to hang out with everyone and continue training for the Elite Four."

Nick, being Nick, only hears that first part. "I never said you should have a girlfriend. Maybe a kiss, because kissing is great and you're kind of getting on in your years."

Zach hisses at him like Ike, crawling off of him.

Nick doesn't let him get far. He grabs him by the shirt collar and brings him forward, crushing their lips together. And then he releases him before he gets attacked by Alice or something.

There is a beat of silence. Zach steadily reddens.

Kostya lets out a high-pitched laugh.

And then Alice attacks him.

Zach doesn't talk to Nick for over a week, but it was totally worth it. At least he's finally gotten less awkward about the girl issue. And if he continues to blush every time Nick winks at him, then that's just a hilarious added bonus.

* * *

><p>4. "Oh yeah? And how would <em>you<em> act like me?" Nick asks with a leer. Maybe he's a little drunk, maybe Archie should stop buying him drinks, but he can't resist impressions.

"Seriously?" Zach snorts. He's always a little sharper around people who have been drinking, but it doesn't kill Nick's mood. It certainly never hampers Archie's. "Oh, look at me, big bad trainer. I have a pretty dragon and a puppy dog and I make _aaaall _the ladies swoon. And every time the _Twilight Zone_ comes on, I have to drag everyone within earshot to come watch it, even though I've already spoiled the episode for them!"

Archie laughs until he spills his drink. Zach leans back in his chair with a triumphant smirk. "He's got you there, I think. Though it's not just the ladies who swoon."

"He's an equal opportunity piece of eye candy," Zach says and shrugs.

That has Archie laughing all over again, and this time, not even Nick can resist a chuckle. "Fine, then I'm gonna act like you."

Zach arches an eyebrow, arms crossed, looking an awful lot like Hanna. Maybe he should do an impression of her next. Archie scoots around to the other side of the table, leaning in with an eager grin.

Nick reaches over and takes the glass of water in front of the brunet. Clearing his throat, he then released a girlish squeal. "_Eek_, water! Oh no, the bane of my existence! It's going to give me nightmares about Crasher Wake or splash me or something!"

Archie manages to spill the rest of his drink and Zach turns a charmingly irritated shade of red. It's probably a little stupider than Nick would have otherwise liked, but it wast the only thing that came to mind.

"Wait, I know how to do a really good Nick impression," Zach says, and it's in a tone that should have warned Nick. But he only grins.

Zach leans over and kisses Archie full on the mouth.

And then, he stands up and makes to leave. "And now I'm just going to leave and let you ruminate over that. Don't drunk call me at four this time, _either_ of you."

After he leaves, Archie turns to Nick and asks, "You kiss and leave, or am I allowed to get my hopes up?"

"I think he was just trying to make me jealous." Alcohol has slowed his thought processes and Zach acting bratty further soured his mood.

"Ah, so you like to make him jealous." Archie nods sagely and leans back in his chair. "...All the more reason to get drunk off your ass and drunk call him at four."

* * *

><p>5. "<em>Why<em> in the name of everything legendary did you think this was a _good_ idea?!"

"Cossette wanted a smeargle!" Zach all but sobs, trying to claw his way free from the mud. The marshy qualities of Route 212, which he had once sworn off, had sucked him down once again. And he had the courtesy to drag Nick down with him.

"I'll have Harlan make eggs if it'll mean we can just _leave_!" Nick growls, trying to dig his boot out from the muck.

"I don't think Ike would like that," Zachary muses. He simply lays in the mud, face-down, and it's actually alarmingly good camouflage with how muddy he is.

"Then get them to start making kittens or pups or whatever." Nick wades over to him and pulls him up out of the marsh. "She should pay you extra for the mud wrestling."

"She's not paying me, she's just—she asked, but Jude said—it's complicated, okay?" Nick doesn't like the way he dances around the topic. He understands that Zach has taken the blonde girl under his wing, a lot of trainers do that, but the way she has him wrapped around her little finger...

He's not jealous, he tells himself.

Nick whistles, but Serling doesn't appear like normal. She could be too far away, or she might not have heard him over the storm. It started to thunder soon after they had arrived. He doesn't have any flying pokémon with him, just Chase, but the large dragon would only sink faster than they were. And Zach had left Alice with Cossette and Jude, mentioning something about an egg she had claimed as hers.

"This was a terrible idea," he groans.

"I'm sorry," Zach says sadly, but at least he's moving again. He dives down into the mud to retrieve his shoe—and sock—and tries to lean on Nick while he pulls them back on. But that only pushes them both further into it and they have to fight their way back up.

"I think it's getting deeper."

"I really wouldn't doubt it if we managed to find the only case of quicksand marsh in all of Sinnoh."

"Okay, seriously, I will talk to Harlan about this," Nick begs, quite sure that it wasn't up to his waist a moment ago. "She'll pass along some very nice moves to any kids she has, promise!"

"It's not that—Ike would—don't decide these things for your pokémon!"

"I'll buy her a smeargle myself."

"No!" Zach says, too quickly. He turns, pouting, and adds, "I want to do this myself."

Nick frowns. "Yeah, okay, but getting stuck in this muddy tar pit isn't the way to do it. At the very least, we're getting out of here and regrouping. Now come here, we only have one shot at this."

He pulls Zach close, fighting against the marsh as well as the boy's disinclination towards physical contact, and releases Vasudeva. The magmar snarls as he begins to sink into the mud, but grabs them both and teleports before he can get stuck, too. They reappear in the Pastoria pokémon center with a sizable amount of mud.

The Nurse Joy doesn't stop giving them the evil eye, but at least they're out of the marsh. Zach ultimately catches a smeargle in another part of Pastoria's outskirts, and Nick sullenly trails along, wishing childishly that he could ask him for such favors.

* * *

><p>1. Zach wakes up with a jolt, and is scared to find himself covered in a cold sweat. His heart is hammering in his chest and his mind replays the nightmare. Intruders into his dreams were not new, would never get old, but it was rare these days to find one so cruel.<p>

It's been three years since Nick died.

He sits up, covers his eyes with the heels of his palms, and tries to calm his breathing. Once he's sure he's not going to burst into a fit of pathetic crying, he draws his knees up to his chest and sets his cheek on them. The dreams of Lola and Nick and the white thing had slowly dropped off since the events of Stark Mountain and since he became the Champion, but every so often, he'd have a bad night.

But this was beyond a bad night.

Ato is dead, Who is dead. Lassie and Kamala have been dead for five years. Jacques can't intrude, and Kostya hadn't in months. He laughs bitterly; he's had more things in his head than he can even properly recall. Why bother trying to identify his intruder?

It was just a stupid dream. A stupid dream that never could have happened, because when has his life ever been that happy?


	19. Walk Like A Champion

Being a Champion sucked. It had been cool when I wanted some power to throw around to help fix some things, but mostly, it was like being babysat. I had schedules laid out for me during certain seasons, I had to play nice, and honestly, my pokémon had to be even stronger than I'd original anticipated, since we had to squash opponents without hurting them.

"I want out," I told Lucian.

"Like you wanted out of your gym?" he replied coolly.

I went to Volkner and Flint next, and they were a little more sympathetic. "Remember when you had to fake a loss? It will be like that, except worse."

"Way worse," Flint agreed. "We're gonna have to vet them, you realize? And then you're going to have to throw yourself under a bus defending them after they take the crown."

"It's not that bad afterward," Volkner said mildly, eying his friend, "but it will be hell for a couple weeks. You'll have to pick someone who's not only an excellent battler, but someone who can deal with all of the issues you were unaware of when you took the position."

"Then why did you let me take it?!" I demanded, peeved that no one had warned me.

"We knew it was gonna be you, kid," Flint said with a shrug. "Ever since the gym race, we knew it was gonna be one of you to take back over. We couldn't have it any other way, it'd look like we were afraid of the new power."

"Once you killed Sayre, you had the press and half the training population behind you. The best we could do was hope to guide you."

Their advice, however helpful, left a bad taste in my mouth. But I knew it had to be someone clever, strong, but who would work well with others. Sinnoh needed more of a team player than I had admittedly been. I knew I could throw a match—enough people came in hoping to exploit double weaknesses that it wouldn't even be that difficult—but I had no idea how to choose someone to run the training government.

I spent many sleepless nights, with rotating members of my team, going through databases of eligible trainers. Some were repeat challengers, and I favored them, but there were quite a few who'd been through Victory Road, or hadn't made it through the Elite Four to me. I staunchly ignored Cossette Beaumanoir's name on the list. I'd take another eight years as Champion if it meant she didn't become it.

Not that I didn't trust her. She was a fine trainer and a good person. But I wouldn't wish this job on her, not without preparation.

"_Do you just not want her to overtake you?_" Des asked by my shoulder.

"I don't have any problem with that," I lied, but that wasn't my reason for it, I knew. "...Sinnoh needs someone unconnected to me, to Nick, to all of that crap that went down. She was, because of me. It's not about Cossette, it's about what's best." Wasn't it?

"_So mature_," Ike yawned from the bed.

"Go back to sleep. If I'm avoiding friends, that means I'm down half the list. Shit." I buried my head in my arms on the keyboard. Maybe there had been a reason Cynthia and Lucian had been a little more reserved than I had been. I didn't want to seem like I was playing favorites, but I _liked_ talking to some of the trainers who repeatedly challenged me. Most of them. There were a couple of people who were just skilled trainers, and I was certain at least one girl got to me on luck alone, but on the whole, it was a good batch of people.

I spent almost a month with little sleep like that. Hanna caught on at once, and started drilling me on values I should have for the new Champion, while making sure I was napping with Gwen every time she visited. Then, it spread to Cossette, which was _far_ more problematic; there were already tabloid rumors (and had been for years, if we were being honest) that she was some sort of foreign lover of mine. After I trounced her in a battle, she did not need to haul me off to the bedroom, even if it was just for another nap.

A month and three days after I'd told Lucian about my plan, I figured out who I wanted. Her name was Samantha. She was seventeen, feisty, an excellent battler, and wholesome in a sort of way that you could only get with kids from small towns. Her team was balanced, but in an organic sort of way, not the way that came from obsessive planning. I could appreciate that.

Lucian dug up her pre-Elite Four evaluations and Aaron assured me that Cossette was going to shit bricks if I chose someone else. "She doesn't need it, and she better not be trying to use me to better her chances."

"No, I'm just saying, you're picking a pretty cute girl. She's gonna flip out on you."

"It's not like that," I told him for the millionth time. Her crush was gone... mostly. And I was fairly certain Samantha could take her in a battle, which meant I could relax on that as an excuse.

"She wasn't a traveling trainer when the Sayre things started, although she had pokémon at the time. She doesn't have any other major red flags in her history," Lucian announced.

"Sweet, we've needed a woman's touch around here again," Flint said with a happy grin.

"She's seventeen," Volkner replied thinly.

"Not like that, and you know it. It just doesn't look good, modern-day region with all dudes at the top."

"Would you like to retire, then?"

"Hell no. Kick out the kid and bring on the lady."

"Thanks," I said flatly, and that was that.

Now we just had to get her back into challenging me. The Elite Four couldn't throw matches, even if they wanted to, although they could hold back a little. She had to reach me on her own power. ...Which took entirely too long. We couldn't exactly _invite_ her back, not without raising suspicion, and she had seemed content to wander around in Victory Road for the longest time. And then, the first time she challenged, she made a stupid mistake against Aaron and lost. The next time, she got up to Lucian until he got a lucky hit in and she was down to a hawlucha against three of his team.

"We really had it easy with Zach and Cynthia, didn't we?" Flint asked at the next meeting. "They just glided on in, well, she did. You sort of stumbled."

"I made it on my first try, didn't I?" I shot back.

"Yeah, well, Samantha didn't. Do you have any backups chosen?"

My silence was answer enough. Lucian slid forward a paper with a list of four other names. "We've each chosen a potential trainer for your consideration."

I irritably scratched off Cossette's name and Flint snorted back a laugh.

"It's a pity we can't hold open elections," Volkner said and sighed. Aaron nodded beside him. "Maybe you should reform the training government on your way out."

"It would look bad if I did that and just left. Make her do it."

"Then you don't get a say in what she does. Are you content to sit on your hands after you retire?" Lucian asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Hey, retired Champions still get plenty of respect."

"Respect, yes. Power, no."

"I am fine with stepping down. I'm really tired of this all."

When Samantha finally made it to me for another challenge—her third in two years—I knew I had my work cut out for me. Trying to sneakily throw a Champion battle was one of the most stressful things I had ever tried. I _knew_ she got suspicious when I sent Carlita out against her hawlucha, but the joke was on me when Carlita won. Somehow. The universe was _still_ conspiring against me, I was sure.

The rest of the battle was closer after that. She relied a lot on items, which was nothing new since her team was exhausted, and I purposefully ignored mine. If she noticed that, then she didn't remark upon it. While it hurt my heart to watch, Des went down easy against an enemy earthquake, and Ike soon followed. Alice stood her ground against a starmie for some time, seemingly not comprehending the memo about wanting to throw the match, but finally an ice beam caught up to her.

Zarek was knocked out by the same starmie's thunderbolt, and then I was down to Kostya. He easily took care of the starmie, then flinched when he felt my glare on his back. Samantha was down to her last pokémon, and so was I. But Kostya was one of my sturdier battlers.

Samantha called out a delcatty. Kostya bit back a giggle, hands pressed over his mouth. At least it wouldn't be too hard to throw a battle, since he was now severely restricted. He danced around the arena, ducking into shadow sneaks, but the delcatty simply sat back and fired ice beams. It took most of an hour, but it whittled him down. I hadn't lost a professional battle in years, I'd realized as I watched him fall over, out like a light. It strangely hurt.

Samantha looked at the fallen dusknoir with eyes like dinner plates. "...Was that... W-Was that your last pokémon?" She stared at me as I returned him and put a hand on my hip.

"Yeah. That's it." Wait, I probably should have figured out what to say about this. "...So, uh, congrats. You're the Champion now."

"Wh-What?!" she squeaked. At least she was surprised. Maybe I was a better actor than I'd thought.

"Yeah. I step down, so congratulations, and if you'd follow me, we can register—"

"I don't want to actually _be_ the Champion!"

"...What."

"I want to be _a_ Champion, not _the_ Champion. Don't trainers who defeat you get honorary titles without taking the actual rank?"

"...In Kanto and Johto!" I exclaimed, unable to believe this was headed south so fast. "Uh, maybe Kalos does it too, I'm not sure—but that's not the point. We run on the absolute trainer government model, or whatever Lucian calls it, and that means you win, you're _the_ Champion. The only other Champions in the region are retired ones." Even if Cynthia had retired peacefully to Unova.

"I-I don't want to be! Sorry! I can't handle that sort of responsibility!" Samantha said, shaking her head wildly. "Take backsies!"

"You already won!"

"I don't have any sort of training, or know anything about politics! I'm barely a decent trainer! My pokémon carried me through this all, trust me."

"I know that feeling, believe me. And we'll train you, don't worry, you don't have to take the position right away—"

"I don't want it at all, I can't take that from you—"

"No, believe me, you'd be doing me a favor—"

"I'm just some girl from the boondocks, I can't follow a hero like you—"

"I am _not_ a hero—"

"Children, please!" Lucian to the rescue. If anyone could talk others in and out of things, it was him. I hoped.

We led Samantha into the records chamber, recorded her team and her video, despite her shell-shocked expression. She had stopped protesting taking the job, at least. Lucian explained that she would be trained and I would publicly stay the Champion until she felt more comfortable with the role. I could tell she was slowly warming up to the notion, but at the end of several explanations, she asked quietly, "Why me?"

"Because you didn't want it," Lucian replied and while I couldn't exactly fault his logic, I could tell it didn't reassure her. Oh well. He was already more helpful towards her than he had ever been to me.

She stayed quiet through a small tour and a sit-down with her pokémon team, which, amusingly, were all for the idea of being a Champion's team. They held more sway than we ever could. But the final straw was when we showed her the private kitchen. "This would be mine?"

"This entire wing would be yours. Private apartments for when the Champion stays on premises," Lucian replied. There had certainly been perks to it, though I had hardly ever stayed there for long periods of time.

"I'll take it," Samantha said with a grin.

-.-.-

Four months later, we released the video of her defeating me and her dazed acceptance speech. I stepped down from the role with a small ceremony that Lucian certainly never suffered through, and then I was home free. Well, after Samantha let me go. She turned out to be a huggy person.

"You'll come visit me, right?"

"Uh, yeah. If you want."

"I do! I'm already sweating bullets with all these cameras around. I'll probably end up losing my first battle."

"You'll do fine. Just make sure it's not to Cossette." While we had been careful in keeping Samantha a secret until the announcement, naturally, Cossette had figured it out. And she had challenged me weekly in a vain attempt to try to take the title before it was officially passed. Des had been the only one to come out of that happy; he got to see Adele weekly for a month and a half.

"I have you on speed dial," Samantha warned and only then did she release me. I ducked out well before it was socially acceptable, reveling in my freedom, and hardly got out of the building before I was picked up by Jacques.

He dropped me in front of an irate French girl. "Are you happy now?"

"Incredibly. Want to battle?"

"No! I don't have any use for you if you're not the Champion anymore," she declared, nose in the air. I got up, dusting off my dress pants, and was assaulted by a teenaged girl for the second time that day. Her hug was even more crushing than Samantha's. "But now I am not your foreign mistress. I'll miss that."

"Oh god, please don't joke about that. You would not believe how many headaches I got just announcing Samantha as my successor." Why didn't Lucian have to deal with anything concerning me? Oh yeah, because everyone was more interested in my scandals than his. Maybe picking a normal, down-to-earth girl was a bad move.

"Well, your other mistress has already planned a party for you, _ma puce_." Cossette let go, smiling brightly up at me.

"I know what that means, and I know it's a feminine word."

"And that's why you don't mind it. Shall we go?"

"Yeah, let's go." Cossette and I walked up the road to Hanna's ranch, arm in arm for the first time in forever. I finally _could_ walk around with my friends again, because no one would care again. I could disappear into the wilderness and not have the Elite Four calling me all the time, I could visit Vai and Alicia without it turning into some sort of political meeting, Jude might finally stop trying to sell me pokémon, and I could have Harlan and Fargo out without anyone giving me disgusted looks.

The dinner party was predictably lively. Carlita loudly lamented that she wasn't a Champion's pokémon anymore, Ike and Harlan curled up around Gwen after dessert, and Hanna and I accidentally fell asleep on the couch, wedged up against each other by Des.

I managed to sleep through the entire night (even if we both woke up sore as hell the next morning).

"Oh my god, it's noon," Hanna groaned, somewhere near my throat. I mumbled something noncommittal into her hair. "Do you know when the last time I slept in this late was?"

"Do you know the last time _I_ did?"

"Why hasn't Gwen woken us?"

"_Cossette took her out with Adele and her team this morning. I think they were helping Jude with the chores_," Des rumbled sleepily.

"Why didn't _you_ wake us?" I asked and tried to kick him, but my legs were so tangled up in the one blanket someone had thrown on us that it was futile.

"_I like to sleep sometimes, too, Trainer_," he replied. He sat up and waddled out of the way, stretching in that weird way of his, and I promptly fell off the couch without him to pin me there. Just what I needed when my entire body was complaining about movement.

"I feel hungover."

"Hungover from being a Champion?" Hanna asked, dropping the blanket on me as she stood up. Her back cracked several times as she stretched.

"Maybe."

"You should have let _me_ succeed you."

"Hanna, I love you way too much to let you do that."

"Is what why you didn't let Cossette?"

"Maybe a little. Mostly, I didn't want her dealing with all the political shit. And now I can continue to hold it over her head," I said with a grin, hidden by the blanket.

"Even passing the mantle of the highest ranking official trainer in the country, you sound like—a brat," she said, and we both fell silent. We knew I hadn't sounded like a brat; I sounded like a certain other older trainer.

"Can I stay here for the week?" I asked, changing the subject. On my first day of freedom, I did not want to think about him.

"You're more than welcome to, but _why_? I thought you'd be out of the country on the first plane."

"I'm technically homeless and without a job right now. I figure you wouldn't mind me bumming off of your great fortune once again."

She snorted and threw one of the cushions at me. I threw it right back. "You're helping with the chores and I'm not protecting you from Jude. He'll want your pokémon for breeding."

"He already got two of Harlan's kids."

"I'm just warning you."

"_Can I request Adele?_" Des asked, reminding us he was still within earshot. I laughed and Hanna threw the cushion at him.

"You talk Cossette and Adele into that, and I'll talk my husband into it. Until then, up, we should at least help with lunch."

As it turned out, Cossette had not taken Gwen out to help with the chores. According to her, she had asked if Gwen wanted to see a pokémon battle, and of course the little girl had said yes. And there was nothing wrong with that. What was problematic was that she had taken her to the Elite Four to show her a pokémon battle.

She made it to Samantha before Hanna and I got there. "Mama, look! Cossette's gonna win!"

"Oh, she better not!" I growled as Hanna scooped her up.

"Yeah, she better not," Samantha agreed from across the field. "Cute kid. Yours?"

"No, despite all of my wild flings and incredibly public romantic life, I have not managed to father a child. Cossette, out of here!"

"_Non_. I am here officially."

"You brought Gwen! You're—uh—you're grounded!"

"You _can_ bring guests along on your challenges," Samantha reminded me unhelpfully. "And she was going to be a cheerleader."

The parallels made me cringe. "Gwendolyn, we can cheerlead for Cossette later. Right now, we need to make lunch. Aren't you hungry?"

"And Cossette, you're still grounded! Samantha, force the match to a close."

"I can do that?"

"Yes."

"_Non_! I made it this far!" And I was scared she'd make it further. Cossette's main method of training had been against my team, after all. "Stop treating me like a child! At least let me finish this battle! I've earned it."

I sat down on the sidelines, arms crossed, and glared at the match until Samantha (thankfully) beat her. It had been alarmingly close in the beginning, but I was gratified to see that the new Champion could handle herself. Gwendolyn cheered and ran up and down the line excitedly, Hanna pattering along after her to make sure she didn't get in the middle.

Cossette wouldn't look at me for a week after that. And Gwen kept asking to see more Champion battles.

"He wouldn't have wanted you to become the Champion, either," Hanna told me one night. She was right, of course. "Maybe you could go a little easier on Cossette? You are sort of neurotically overprotective of her. And not just on this."

"I just don't know how to treat her. The past eight years, all it's been is preventing anyone from seeing us together outside of a battle, and then trying like crazy to come out on top every time. Before that, she _was_ a child."

"Well, acting like _him_ certainly isn't going to help," Hanna said sourly.

"Should I act like _you_?" I shot back.

"Act like _you_. Act how you want, but for god's sake, learn to stop suffocating her. And show Gwen more battles. She's on a kick and she needs to watch more than Cossette and her Elite Four runs. I blame you entirely for this."

I could retire from being a gym leader, from being the Champion, but what I really needed to do was retire from trying to emulate Nick. At least the new start allowed for some change.

I stood up, checking my phone. Cossette should have been halfway through Lucian if she was lucky.

"Where are you going?" Hanna asked warily.

"I'll grab Gwen and take her to see the battle. I'm going to go cheer Cossette on." Just because I had no drive didn't mean I should squash hers.

"After you make sure Samantha is braced for her and will show her absolutely no mercy?"

"Hell yes." There were perks to having the Champion on speed dial, after all.


End file.
